tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314978302024-03-13T06:13:24.673-05:00Parental AlienationI am just one parent of thousands that is the target parent in the henious act of parental alienation. Parental Alienation is abuse and until the courts and others involved in custody cases realize this, this criminal activity will continue.
I am one voice with the hopes that I will be heard.
Stop the abuse of children caught in the middle of custody cases by parents who can not put their childrens best interests above their own revenge tactics.Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.comBlogger135125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-88454118528320758232012-07-05T09:15:00.000-05:002012-07-05T09:15:56.257-05:00Bissell Big GreenI just have to share with you my thoughts about the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00450U6CS/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=parentalali0a-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00450U6CS">BISSELL Big Green Deep Cleaning Machine Professional Grade Carpet Cleaner, 86T3</a><img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=parentalali0a-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B00450U6CS" style="border: none !important; margin: 0px !important;" width="1" /> I bought this as a "gift" to myself. I hated the process of renting a rug cleaner. Go to the store hope they have one available, lug it into my car, drive home, lug it out of my car and into the house. Then I only had 24 hours to clean carpets and many times over exerted myself trying to get everything done in that time frame. Then many times waking up the next day to find the carpets were still damp. Going back over a few spots and repeating the process of lugging the thing back into the car and back to the store. Then shortly after cleaning my carpets, someone would spill something on them or track something in and I would do my best to clean it up, but waited to repeat the process of cleaning all the carpets again.<br />
<br />
So I started thinking about purchasing one for myself. I really could not justify spending all that money, but I hated having only 24 hours with the rental and honestly moving several rooms of furniture was becoming a bit much. The last time I went to rent a cleaner, I could not find my usual brand available. I went to Lowe's and they offered the Bissell Big Green. Never having used one I was skeptical. I lugged it into my car and went back home.<br />
<br />
I found many things I liked about this machine. For one, I did not have to carry the container of clean water and try to pour it into a long skinny opening. I always ended up with a line of water on the carpet that had to be sucked up with the cleaner. It was easy to maneuver and it cleaned in both a forward and backward direction. The cleaning solution comes in several formulas and seems to take less than the other machine.
My carpets seem cleaner, are soft after cleaning and I can work on one room at a time at my own convenience. The other great thing is that they are dry in just a couple hours and I can move furniture back where I cleaned. No more having my house in a maze till the carpets dry.
If you ever thought of purchasing a carpet cleaner, I highly recommend this one.<br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=parentalali0a-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B00450U6CS&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-74386410879201457122012-06-29T11:28:00.000-05:002012-06-29T11:29:16.974-05:00what can target parents do about parental alienation?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">What can a target parent do about parental
alienation? That is the sixty-four thousand dollar question. I wish I had the
perfect answer to not only solve, prevent and solve parental alienation, but I
do not. I can only write about my experiences, what worked and use ideas from
other parents as well as a guide for you. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">What has worked for me and others may not
work for you. Each case is different, but each case does involve a selfish
parent who is unable to let go of the anger and hurt of the failed relationship
and uses the children as collateral to control. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I suggest keeping a diary of some sort. I
made a blog that is private and documented my feelings, wrote letters to my son
and scanned documentation as proof. This allowed me to separate my documents
and print them for my attorney. I also kept a large calendar that I wrote visitations,
times and ease or difficulty of transfer on. I set up with my cell phone company
to track calls made or received by my son as well as my ex. This comes in handy
when claims are made that the target parent does not call or claims are made
that your child calls more than what is documented. I made copies of all doctor
visits, as claims were made I did not allow my son to visit the doctor. My
insurance company also has a website that allows me to document this. I also
used a tracking program for emails, since my ex loved to state that he did not receive
an email. This program stated when it was sent, when it was read and if it was
forwarded by the recipient. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was
helpful when my ex would claim he did not receive an email, but my program
showed not only that he read it several times, but he forwarded it. Not only
can these documents be helpful to your attorney, you should also share these
with your counselor. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">If counseling is ordered by the courts I
suggest complying with that. Your ex and child/children may attend one or two
sessions and if you are lucky---- more. I suggest continuing with counseling even
if the other participants ordered refuse to attend. I first learned about
parental alienation because of counseling and was given suggestions of
resources to read. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">As a target parent you are going to have to
get a thick skin, turn the other cheek, smile when it is painful and be the incredible
parent, even when it is most difficult. If you have visitation and are refused,
you still need to not only make the effort, but be there at the time stated and
not late. As we all know, traffic can be unpredictable and while perhaps acceptable
for your job that you will be late due to the unforeseen traffic----as a target
parent this is unacceptable and will be used against you. I made several 6 hour
round trips knowing my son would not be there when I arrived, but I made those
trips and had the proof I made them. If your child is into sports or other
activities, you need to attend. While I understand the alienating most likely
does not care about these activities, you as a target parent are being held to
a higher standard. Being late for visitation or an event, failing to attend an
event no matter the excuse will be greatly exaggerated to the courts and your
child/children. These exaggerations will substantiate the claims of the
alienating parent. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Do not get into a discussion with your
child/children about alienation. You are not going to win this argument. They
do not understand what is being done to them and really do not care. Their
sense of reasoning is not developed either. If you have visitation, you need to
enjoy time with your child without conflict. Do not become overwhelmed with grief
that does not allow you to enjoy time with your child. Tell them you love them
do things they like and swallow your pride, grief and anger. Call them after a
visit to let them know you enjoyed the visit and look forward to the next time.
Learn how to text message, set up a facebook page or other social media as a
way to connect. Ignore most of what you see if accepted as a friend on these
social pages and don’t like or comment on everything your child/children post.
Myspace allows you to see if personal messages are read. I do not think
facebook allows that. Realize they may not respond to a message either. Do not inundate
them with messages either. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Have empathy for your child. You are asking
your friends, co-workers and others to understand and to be compassionate
towards you; you need to be the same towards your child/children. You didn’t
ask for this and neither did your children/child. Understand that for as much
pain, confusion and mixed messages you receive your child/children are receiving
the same. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Read, research, and understand as much as you
can about parental alienation. Read blogs, articles, citations and books about parental
alienation. Talk to others, join support groups, web boards and more.
Communicate! Let go of anger, it holds you down and allows others to control
you. Get healthy, do exercise which is a great anger release. Eat healthier;
your body will be happier. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a new
beginning, you did not ask for this so choose wisely. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Have faith and don’t give up hope. In my case
the alienating parent, promised things he could not deliver on. He stated he
would always be there to talk to our son. Sure he was there when this case was
in the courts, but once he “won” -----things changed. I will never forget being
called about 1 in the morning. Needless to say, this was an inconvenient time
for me, but it was my son calling. I answered very groggy that morning and our
son just wanted to talk. The fact that I listened and did not respond with some
glib response meant the world to him. From that point, things started to change
for the better. It was not easy. Over time, we have reconnected and I think the
relationship is strong. It is NOT the same as it was, never will be. </span><br />
<br />
<h1 style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">I have missed several milestones
in my son’s life, but at the same time experienced many. I can either be angry
about those missed milestones or be happy that I have him back in my life. I
could be wrong, but I think many concentrate on what is being missed instead of
what is being made new. Letting go of anger is liberating. I think one has to
do this. Found a few great quotes: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“<b>If
we open a quarrel between past and present, we shall find that we have lost the
future.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b></span></h1>
<h1 style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">“<b>We cannot change our past. We
can not change the fact that people act in a certain way. We can not change the
inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and
that is our attitude</b>.”</span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lastly
take time for yourself. Find humor, have a laugh----- get that massage you have wanted, read that book
you have placed on the shelf, join the gym, buy that album of the band you
like, sing karaoke, take that hike, rent that mountain cabin, drink that bottle
of fine wine you have saved for that special occasion, eat a box of fine chocolates…something
YOU want and something for YOU! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">We can not stop, prevent or control what the alienating parent is doing. The ONLY thing we can control is how we as target parents react. Until the courts and judges recognize parental alienation, the only control we have is ourselves. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If you
follow my facebook page, you will see that I mix it up with serious posts,
quotes, and stories and I also post silly pictures. Every once in awhile we
need a reason to laugh. Please allow yourself to laugh. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">Some great resources to start your education about parental alienation:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=parentalali0a-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0979696011&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe>
<iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=parentalali0a-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=1589793765&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe>
<iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=parentalali0a-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=1466435194&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe>
<iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=parentalali0a-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0398076472&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe>
<iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=parentalali0a-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0897076281&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe>
<iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=parentalali0a-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B00526ZLMY&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1<1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" scrolling="no" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0"></iframe>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-84862756875919638792012-06-07T07:30:00.000-05:002012-06-07T07:30:18.303-05:00Take a break, have a laugh<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5zGCW72JIzRCXOBgD33B8TBbAmPoxoa3L8lamK1rWEkp9bR4xkPr4-ySQPdmAvgEj-4fMb6lz5bJLUcuvs1r5clWtGGEQHWL5iyNyt0GPPx_rBSi0iCioCR1KACO14VrNcg-xOA/s1600/catshoes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5zGCW72JIzRCXOBgD33B8TBbAmPoxoa3L8lamK1rWEkp9bR4xkPr4-ySQPdmAvgEj-4fMb6lz5bJLUcuvs1r5clWtGGEQHWL5iyNyt0GPPx_rBSi0iCioCR1KACO14VrNcg-xOA/s320/catshoes.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
A picture of shoes and an odd looking cat? WTH? What does this have to do with parental alienation? Absolutely nothing! That's the beauty of it.<br />
<br />
I have found that if we do not take time for ourselves to heal, to live and to grow, we lose sight of the small things and most obscure things that allow us to laugh. This was the picture I picked that I just thought was something that could allow us to laugh. <br />
<br />
It is important to laugh, at funny pictures, sayings and ourselves. Please take care of yourself and laugh. <br />Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-71557851230710009482012-05-01T09:01:00.001-05:002012-05-01T09:10:23.162-05:00Knowledge is power<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am a strong believer in that knowledge is power. While I
am far from an expert on parental alienation, I feel that I have gained quite a
bit of knowledge about the subject and I continue my learning even today. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I first became aware of parental alienation, I did not
know what the word meant. I remember sitting in the office of a child psychologist
when I first heard that term. You may
ask how I knew to go there. I didn’t at first.
What I did know was I always had a loving and close relationship with my son
and that relationship changed basically overnight. My son was visiting his
father during the summer and the plan that was hatched was one where I would be
eliminated as a parent to my son. This
was not a pre-teen trying to establish a sense of self identity either. I was completely
cut off from contact. When I was finally able to appear in court a few weeks
later, receiving notification after the court date, I would was overwhelmed by
allegations made and the number of people appearing in court as possible witnesses.
I recognized my ex’s brother and wife, but I had not seen nor heard from them
since our divorce. The other people I saw,
I had no clue who they were, but they occupied two rows in the court room. I remember sitting towards the back of the
court room with my attorney feeling very alone and feeling a sinking feeling in
the pit of the stomach. He told me not
to worry about the people there if I did not even know their names. His
confidence far exceeded mine that day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I achieved a victory that day in court by having the court
order the return of my son to my home and for further court proceedings to take
place in my county. Little did I know
that this victory was the start of a living hell. If I thought the three weeks prior to the victory
court proceeding were distressing to me because I could not contact by phone,
the numbers were changed to private numbers.
Trips to the home were futile as well; it always appeared as no one was
home. I was ill prepared for what would lay ahead. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I spoke to a family friend who did some counseling and asked
if I should see a counselor and if they had suggestions. They gave me a few names and I picked one out
and made the appointment. As I sat in
his office talking my son sat in the waiting room, most likely texting his dad
about the event. The counselor wanted to
talk to both of us, but separately. He asked if I would mind having my ex
attend some sessions and I agreed. I gave him the contact info so he could
speak with my ex. Needless to say; my ex was against this quackery. It was
during my visits with the child psychologist that I learned the words parental
alienation. He suggested reading some books as well. The sessions with this child psychologist ended
soon afterwards due to my ex petitioning the court claiming I was brainwashing
my son. While I am guessing my ex was
hoping that no counseling would ever take place again, it was ordered but he
and his attorney got to pick the counselor this time. We attended perhaps four
sessions and then my ex refused to attend. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over the years I have read numerous books, reread portions
of those books, read numerous blogs about parental alienation, and read numerous
writings about it as well. I have communicated with parents experiencing parental
alienation. I also have listened more intently to other parents of divorce
speak about their ex’s whom do not believe in such a thing, think it is hogwash
and vehemently hate their ex and do not want them to be any part of their
children’s lives. I have formed my own opinions, whether right or wrong, but
feel most of the motivation behind parental alienation is a combination of some
form of a mental and or personality disorder and an irrefutable need to have
power over the lives of those they have a relationship with. This control is
not of the form of some friendly advice or help, but of the type of my way or
the highway. They are never wrong, you are. They know how to do things correctly,
you do not. The several examples of the
divorced parents that I have listened to that exhibit these rigid stands
against their ex also are controlling, demanding and inflexible. They almost seem to take joy and pride in ridiculing
their ex and explaining why the children hate the other parent. They also find
ways to voice their opinion without provocation into a conversation. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While the majority of cases of parental alienation consist
of one parent campaigning against the other parent and getting the children to
align with them, realize other relatives can also do this such as grandparents,
aunts and uncles. The severity of the alienation varies from case to case as
well. Reversing alienation can be done, as I am testament to this. There was no
plan or one method that I used. What worked for me may very well not work for
you. This is where I believe that reading everything you can get your hands on
is helpful. I also think revisiting the books and articles is helpful as well. The
information I gained from a book read seven years ago was great, but I have
noticed when I reread the book I gained new knowledge and perspective. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I would like to offer a few suggestions of books. My wish is
that if you have not read any of them, perhaps you will consider reading a few
and you will gain some knowledge and insight as well. These are just a few books, there are many,many more to be found.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-23016598633753286482012-04-18T11:54:00.002-05:002012-04-18T11:54:33.784-05:00"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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It is difficult to imagine that a child could hate a parent
for no apparent reason or for reasons that are ambiguous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is as difficult as well to imagine a child
who once shared a deep bond with a parent or whom looked forward to visits with
the other parent, suddenly profess a deep disgust to such parent. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately this happens in many complicated
divorce/custody cases.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am mainly
speaking about the control of power that one parent exhibits during these
proceedings and that said parent who constantly uses the children as a
bargaining tool. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Custodial parents tend to be the ones who wield this power,
but this is trend is changing. Custodial parents tend to spend the majority of
the time with the children and therefore have more influence of the
children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While a custodial parent may
have more time with the children, this does not mean that they are inherently campaigning
against the non custodial parent. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead of concentrating on who is the custodial/non
custodial parent…I think the parents should concentrate on being just a
parent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Parenting means to provide
support for your child, housing, food and clothing. (I am not inadvertently referring
to child support).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Parenting also means supporting
your child by attending school functions, helping your child learn, listening
to your child and disciplining your child when warranted. As a parent you have
to accept your child for who they are…remembering they are half of you and half
of the other parent. These qualities were something you found interesting,
until the divorce and now they are atrocious. Your child is a combination of
both your best and worse traits. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Recognize that either parent, custodial or not, influence the
child’s thinking and behaviors. Take a mindful effort not to speak unconstructively
about the other parent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Keep your conversations
private and attempt not to unconsciously present your feelings to your
child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may be very well having a private
conversation with a friend after your children may be asleep, but they may very
well overhear your complaints.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Please
keep your grievances and conversations away from your children. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hire a babysitter and meet for a cup of coffee
to discuss your feelings. Seek a counselor who will listen and offer suggestions,
although you may not appreciate it. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Remember that you have a responsibility to raise your child
to be a productive person. Take your personal feelings away from how you feel
about the other parent and concentrate on how you wish your child will react
later in life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your child is going to
learn from your actions and reactions. Please do not alienate yourself in this
process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You may have to bite your tongue;
you may have to bite it off. "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh
word stirs up anger."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Your child may spend approximately 18 years with you, but
may spend the next 60+ years seeking a truth. </div>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-64286561628973418212012-04-18T08:44:00.004-05:002012-04-18T08:44:54.532-05:00Parental Alienation Awareness Day April 25, 2012 Events<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinbMPDHoh7NS6TZbr245mQC-S2LyHVru8fVlHmINyYv_kofj4vJYx7OxR04mspubApsho-_lmSgiEgXhMScyDc12y2DF5OrYWRsGXksEKQc2AKDMwhwTCh17868388hS5wyX2g3w/s1600/bubles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinbMPDHoh7NS6TZbr245mQC-S2LyHVru8fVlHmINyYv_kofj4vJYx7OxR04mspubApsho-_lmSgiEgXhMScyDc12y2DF5OrYWRsGXksEKQc2AKDMwhwTCh17868388hS5wyX2g3w/s320/bubles.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">2012 Parental Alienation Awareness Day Events. </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-left: 2in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Alberta, Canada</span></b></div>
<br />
<strong>Evening with Parental Alienation</strong><br />
6:00 pm<br />
Parkland Mall, Gateway Parent Link Centre 4747 67 Red Deer, alberta, Canada<br />
contact: Tara, drkathleenreayevents@shaw.ca<br />
Join us for an evening with Parental Alienation Expert Dr. Kathleen Reay!
Thursday May 3, 6:00-8:00pm $25 prepaid in advance
www.parentalalienationhelp.org/store -or $35 at the door (5:30 pm) This lecture
followed by Q& A will provide knowledge, understanding, real-life examples
& powerful strategies to deal with the ramifications of PA or PAS.
Alienated parents, loved ones, clinicians, lawyers & criminal justice
personnel are invited to join. Dr. Kathleen M. Reay, a clinician, researcher,
and author of the 341 page book called Toxic Divorce: a Workbook for Alienated
Parents is a leading expert on PA/PAS. Dr. Reay was a keynote speaker at the
2011 Canadian Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome in Montreal, Quebec.
She is also the Founder and Director of the International Institute for
Parental Alienation Studies (IIPAS), an exceptional research institute and
online learning program for alienated parents, extended family members, and
professionals. See http:www.iipas.org for more information. She also receives
many inquiries regarding her availability as a consultant, evaluator, trial
consultant and expert witness in matters relating to child custody, trauma,
estrangement, parental alienation and parental alienation syndrome. Would You
Like to Sponsor a Basic, Advanced or Customized Training Program in Your Area?
For all inquiries, please email drkathleenreayevents@shaw.ca Additionally, Dr.
Reay will be offering online courses and webinars in 2012. To keep up-to-date
on what<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>s happening,
please feel free to subscribe to our free newsletter. Click on <a href="http://parentalalienationhelp.org/newsletter">http://parentalalienationhelp.org/newsletter</a><br />
<br />
<strong>EFFECTIVE CLINICAL ASSESSMENT & THERAPEUTIC INTERVENTIONS FOR
ALIENATED CHILDREN & THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS</strong><br />
9 a.m.<br />
Quality Inn North Hill, Rotary Room, 7150 50th Ave Red Deer, Alberta, Canada<br />
contact: Tara, drkathleenreayevents@shaw.ca<br />
This is a two (2)full day advanced training program for mental health
professionals. Presenter: Dr. Kathleen M. Reay, Ph.D., D.A.A.E.T.S., a
Diplomate of the American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress, an
experienced licensed psychotherapist, researcher, public speaker, child custody
evaluator and litigation-related consultant to parents, attorneys and the
courts as an expert on parental alienation and parental alienation syndrome.
Dr. Reay is also the author of Toxic Divorce: A Workbook for Alienated Parents.
Who Should Attend? Mental health professionals in private practice or agency
settings who have a minimum Master<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>s
level degree in counselling, clinical psychology, social work, or a similar
social science and must be licensed to practice in a state/province. There are
few therapists that have had advanced training in how to handle these cases and
the need is great. If you are a mental health professional and this is a
specialty that interests you, you could make a powerful contribution to the distressed
families that are affected by a serious dysfunction that far too many divorcing
parents and their children experience. Upon successful completion, participants
can optionally purchase a customized Certificate of Completion and have his/her
name placed on the referral database at the International Institute for
Parental Alienation Studies (IIPAS) for $20.00 CDN (includes tax and S&H).
The IIPAS receives numerous inquiries for referrals to professionals who are
trained in proper assessment, diagnosis and treatment for PA/PAS throughout the
US and Canada. For more information on the agenda,learning objectives, travel
info, fees, and how to register for this program, please click on
http://parentalalienationhelp.org/events Would you and/or your organization
like to sponsor Dr. Kathleen M. Reay to provide a workshop for alienated
parents, mental health professionals or legal professionals? Please submit your
inquiry to the above-noted email address.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-left: 1.5in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;"> </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-left: 1.5in;">
<b><span style="font-size: 14pt; line-height: 115%;">2012 Parental Alienation Awareness Day Events</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: .5in;">
<b style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">British Columbia, Canada</span></b><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> </span> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<strong>Honoring Parental Alienation Awareness Day</strong><br />
Tuesday, April 24, 2012 9 a.m. - 1<br />
Shaw TV Studios: Studio 4 Vancouver,, British Columbia, Canada<br />
contact: Dr. Kathleen M. Reay, drkathleenreay@gmail.com<br />
Dr. Kathleen M. Reay, a leading Canadian expert on PA/PAS will be a live
guest on Studio 4 http://studio4.ca from 9 a.m. - 10 a.m. PDST. The host of
this show is Fanny Kiefer, a highly respected Canadian journalist and talk show
host who has interviewed the political elite, famous world-renowned authors,
global influences, visionaries, artists, creators and unconventional
characters. Dr. Reay will be providing a significant amount of up-to-date
information on the differences between irrational alienation and rational
alienation.<br />
<br />
<strong>In Celebration of the 7th Annual Parental Alienation Awareness Day</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 8:15 a.m.<br />
City TV Studios - Breakfast TV Show Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada<br />
contact: Dr. Kathleen M. Reay, drkathleenreay@gmail.com<br />
Dr. Kathleen M. Reay will be a live guest on a highly-rated live morning TV
show called Breakfast TV to help spread public awareness about PA/PAS. Please
see more info on http://www.btvancouver.ca<br />
<strong>Evening Lecture & Q & A on Current Parental Alienation Issues</strong><br />
6:00 p.m.<br />
Simon Fraser University, Surrey Campus, Room 5360, Surrey (suburb of
Vancouver), British Columbia, Canada<br />
contact: Tara, drkathleenreayevents@shaw.ca<br />
Join us for an evening with Parental Alienation Expert Dr. Kathleen Reay on
Friday,May 11th, 2012. Doors open at 5:30 p.m. $25 prepaid in advance
www.parentalalienationhelp.org/store or $35 at the door. This lecture followed
by Q& A will provide knowledge, understanding, real-life examples &
some powerful strategies to deal with the ramifications of PA or PAS. Alienated
parents, loved ones, clinicians, lawyers & criminal justice personnel are
invited to join. Dr. Kathleen M. Reay, a clinician, researcher, and author of
the 341 page book called Toxic Divorce: a Workbook for Alienated Parents is a
leading expert on PA/PAS. Dr. Reay was a keynote speaker at the 2011 Canadian
Symposium for Parental Alienation Syndrome in Montreal, Quebec. She is also the
Founder and Director of the International Institute for Parental Alienation
Studies (IIPAS), an exceptional research institute and online learning program
for alienated parents, extended family members, and professionals. See
http:www.iipas.org for more information. She also receives many inquiries
regarding her availability as a consultant, evaluator, trial consultant and
expert witness in matters relating to child custody, trauma, estrangement,
parental alienation and parental alienation syndrome. Would You Like to Sponsor
a Basic, Advanced or Customized Training Program in Your Area? For all inquiries,
please email drkathleenreayevents@shaw.ca Additionally, Dr. Reay will be
offering online courses and webinars in 2012. To keep up-to-date on what<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>s happening, please feel free
to subscribe to our free newsletter. Click on http://parentalalienationhelp.org/newsletter<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<strong>Effective Clinical Assessment & Therapeutic Interventions for
Alienated Children & Their Family Members</strong><br />
Doors open<br />
Simon Fraser University, Surrey Campus, Room #5360 Surrey (a suburb of
Vancouver), British Columbia, Canada<br />
contact: Tara, drkathleenreayevents@shaw.ca<br />
2 Full Day Advanced Workshops for Mental Health Professionals: Presenter:
Dr. Kathleen M. Reay, Ph.D., D.A.A.E.T.S., a Diplomate of the American Academy
of Experts in Traumatic Stress, an experienced licensed psychotherapist,
researcher, public speaker, child custody evaluator and litigation-related
consultant to parents, attorneys and the courts as an expert on parental
alienation and parental alienation syndrome. Dr. Reay is also the author of
Toxic Divorce: A Workbook for Alienated Parents. This is a 2 full day advanced
course for mental health professionals who have a minimum Master<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>s level degree in
counselling, clinical psychology, social work, or a similar social science and
must be licensed to practice in a state/province. There are few therapists that
have had advanced training in how to handle these cases and the need is great.
If you are a mental health professional and this is a specialty that interests
you, you could make a powerful contribution to the distressed families that are
affected by a serious dysfunction that far too many divorcing parents and their
children experience. Upon successful completion, participants can optionally
purchase a customized Certificate of Completion and have his/her name placed on
the referral database at the International Institute for Parental Alienation
Studies (IIPAS) for $20.00 CDN (includes tax and S&H). The IIPAS receives
numerous inquiries for referrals to professionals who are trained in proper
assessment, diagnosis and treatment for PA/PAS throughout the US and Canada.
Who Should Attend? For more information on the agenda,learning objectives,
travel info, fees, and how to register for this program, please click on
http://parentalalienationhelp.org/events Would you and/or your organization
like to sponsor Dr. Kathleen M. Reay to provide a workshop for alienated
parents, mental health professionals or legal professionals? Please submit your
inquiry to Tara, Marketing Director at drkathleenreayev<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">2012 Parental Alienation Awareness Day Events</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-left: 1.5in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Ontario, Canada</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<strong>2012 PAAD & BUbbles of Love Day Event</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11:45am<br />
Nathan Phillip Square Toronto, Ontario, Canada<br />
contact: Sarvy Emo, sarvy@paawareness.org<br />
Join us for the 3rd annual Bubbles of Love Day event in honour of the 6th
annual Parental Alienation Awareness Day, celebrated globally in over 22
countries!<br />
Bubbles will be provided. Family fun event. Rain or shine.<br />
<strong>CEPC - Barrie - Courthouse Public Rally - Bubbles of Love -
"Flash Mob"</strong><br />
9:30 AM<br />
Barrie Courthouse - 114 Worsley Street Barrie, Ontario, Canada<br />
contact: Paulette, completewellness@sympatico.ca<br />
Given that seventy five to eighty percent of parental alienation and hostile
aggressive parenting cases occur in the context of divorce or separation and
our court system facilitates such family devastation; I am organizing a Barrie
Courthouse Public Rally in the morning from 9:30 to 11:00 during which time we
will be gathering signatures for a Government Bill for Equal\Shared Parenting,
followed by a Kempentfelt playground "Flash Mob" @ 12 noon for
"Bubbles of Love"; on this year<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>s
7th Annual, Parental Alienation Awareness Day - April 25th, 2012. The purpose
of doing the courthouse rally is to demonstrate that we the people mean
business and that our "Status Quo" has to go! The bubbles of love
demonstrates just how fragile the love that a child has for both parents during
divorce or separation is, and how if you attempt to contain that love, the
bubble will break and so will that child's love for one of their parents which
is why we should not contain the bubbles, nor should we contain a child's love
for both mom and dad - and what could be more peaceful then blowing soap
bubbles?!<br />
<br />
<strong>Bubbles Of Love Day</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 10:00<br />
130 King St London, Ont, Canada<br />
contact: Jim Ellis, jrellis.post@gmail.com<br />
Bubbles Of Love Day April 25 2012 Join us for our 2nd annual event taking
place at the COVENT GARDEN MARKET at 130 King St London Ontario. This year
should prove bigger and better than last years.So tell your friends and come on
out and enjoy the fun.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">2012 Parental Alienation Awareness Day Events</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-left: 1in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Northwest Territories, Canada</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<strong>Paad bubbles of love</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 all day<br />
City of Yellowknife City of Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, Canada<br />
contact: Mark Bogan, bogan98@yahoo.com<br />
Will be handing out 100 copies of Proclamation from His Worship Mayor Gordon
Van Tighem to Municipal, Territorial and Federal task force teams as well as
several health professionals, lawyers, judges and politicians.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">2012 Parental Alienation Awareness Day Events</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; margin-left: 2in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Europe</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<strong>PA Awareness Day Labyrint Three state point (NL-BE-D)</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 10.00<br />
Viergrenzenweg, 6291 BM Vaals Netherlands, Limburg,<br />
contact: Hetty Adams, Elimineeer.PAS@gmail.com<br />
<br />
Jan 4, 2012. info: elimineer.PAS@gmail.com<br />
Een groep ouders (NL-BE) geconfronteerd met PA is aan het onderzoeken of het
mogelijk is om op 25 april een bijeenkomst te organiseren bij het
drielandenpunt te Vaals. Wie organiseert er mee?<br />
Eine Gruppe von Eltern (NL-BE) PA ist zu untersuchen, ob es m<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>glich ist, ein Treffen bis 25
April im vorliegenden drei L<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>nder
Punkt zu organisieren. Wer es organisiert?<br />
A group of parents (NL-BE) facing PA is to investigate whether it is
possible to organise a meeting to 25 april in the three countries point to
Vaals. Who organized there?<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Parliament Helsinki, , Finland<br />
contact: , pekka.pere@helsinki.fi<br />
<br />
The book Divorce Poison by Richard Warshak is given to members of the
parliament.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Bubbles of Love-Event / Parental Alienation Awareness Day</strong><br />
Saturday, April 21, 2012 14:00<br />
Hauptwache Frankfurt on the Main, Hessen, Gemany<br />
contact: Thilo Muehlberger, shg@pas-rhein-main.de<br />
Bubbles of Love-Campaign. We will be handing out bubbles and blowing blowing
bubbles for 1 to 2 hours. Flyers and handouts about Parental Alienation.
Everyone is welcome! Event is organized by support group Selbsthilfegruppe PAS
Rhein/Main http://www.pas-rhein-main.de<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Articles about PA and its negative effects</strong><br />
<br />
Whole world , , Poland<br />
contact: , Parental Alienation Awareness Committee,<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>kpor@goog<br />
We invite you to read articles about Parental Alienation and its negative
effects for children, parents and society on our website: www.kpor.pl They are
Polish written, but they can be easily translated into other languages, when
you use Internet browser tools. Because of lack at primary PA conception and
strong and effective propaganda attacks against PA conception and its author we
do not recommend to promote activity against PA to do not damage effects of
your efforts on Parental Alienation Awareness Day.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Research on Parental Alienation in Poland</strong><br />
<br />
Whole country, , Poland<br />
contact: Maciej Wojew<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>dka, kpor@googlegroups.com<br />
I invite you to read about my research on Parental Alienation and its
negative effects in Poland on the website (Polish): https://sites.google.com/site/maciejwojewodka/home/alienacja-rodzicielska-w-polsce---przyklady-i-pytania-badania-wstepne
My research have been begun under auspices of European Creativity and
Innovation Year 2009 in Poland. European Creativity and Innovation Year was
established by European Parliament according to application by European
Commission.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Articles about PA and its negative effects</strong><br />
<br />
Whole world , , Poland<br />
contact: Parental Alienation Awareness Committee, kpor@googlesgroup.com<br />
We invite you to read articles about Parental Alienation and its negative
effects for children, parents and society on our website: www.kpor.pl They are
Polish written, but they can be easily translated into other languages, when
you use Internet browser tools. Because of lack at primary PAS conception and
strong and effective propaganda attacks against PAS conception and its author
we do not recommend to promote activity against PAS to do not damage effects of
your efforts on Parental Alienation Awareness Day.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Lan</strong><strong><span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>amento
de bal</strong><strong><span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>es</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 15h<br />
Lisbon Lisbon, , Portugal<br />
contact: igualdadeparental@gmail.com, igualdadeparental@gmail.com<br />
<br />
<strong>Bubbles of Love, Sweden</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11:30 AM<br />
Domus entrance Kristianstad, , Sweden<br />
contact: Hans-Inge Hansson, hans-inge@pappa-barn-kristianstad.se<br />
For the third year Pappa-Barn Kristianstad will arrange a Bubbles of Love
event in Kristianstad, Sweden. Bring the kids, family and friends and show that
children's best interests must come first. Bubbles will be blown starting at
noon to show that just like bubbles, LOVE cannot and should not be contained.<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">2012 Parental Alienation Awareness Day Events</span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">USA</span></b></div>
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<strong>Parental Alienation Awareness Day/Bubbles of Love Day - Hill Country
Galleria (Amphitheater)</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11am<br />
12700 Hill Country Blvd. Austin (Bee Caves), TX, USA<br />
contact: Natasha Lessard-Alvarado, pasinaustin@gmail.com<br />
Parental Alienation Awareness Day - Bubbles of Love in Austin on April 25th
has their official location at Hill Country Galleria (Amphitheater) 12700 Hill
Country Blvd. Bee Cave, TX 78738
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Parental-Alienation-Awareness-in-Austin/374069599277066?ref=tn_tnmn<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Parental Alienation awareness rally.</strong><br />
Friday, January 27, 2012 11am<br />
Pennsylvania State Capitol Building, N 3rd Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, USA<br />
contact: Jesse A Baker, proepilot@gmail.com<br />
Parental Alienation awareness rally. meet in the dome at 11am sharp.. Phone
number for directions (717) 787-5532 Talk with state reps for support of April
being designated as Parental Alienation month. Let<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>s help educate the law makers on the devastating
effects that parental alienation has on our children. So come out and show your
support for children suffering this mental and emotional abuse caused by
parental alienation. PS<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>
Let<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>s make 2012 a year
of action not just talk<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>.
Our children need us <span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">��</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Bubbles of LOVE Day DFW!</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11:00am<br />
1221 E Southlake Blvd Southlake, Texas, USA<br />
contact: Wendy Archer, warcher@paawareness.org<br />
Bubbles of LOVE Day DFW 2011 was the biggest Parental Alienation Awareness
Day/Bubbles of LOVE Day event in the 6 year history of the event. Ever anywhere
in the WORLD!!! Bubbles of LOVE Day DFW featured 2 locations, more than 200
attendees, Dr. Richard Warshak, and had the support of 12 mayors and cities in
DFW. 2012 will be even bigger and even more fun. Event starts at 11:00. Bubble
blowing is at 12:00. Bubbles will be provided. Bubbles of LOVE Day DFW is
family and pet friendly. Conveniently located in Central Park in the Shops of
Southlake, all you have to do is show up and blow bubbles! Please contact Wendy
Archer for media coverage, sponsorship opportunities and volunteer
opportunities.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Annual Parental Alienation Awareness/ Bubbles of Love Day Event</strong><br />
Saturday, April 28, 2012 11am<br />
Se 60th(crosstreet is Duke) in Brentwood Park. Portland, OR, USA<br />
contact: Todd Maudlin, toddmaudlin@yahoo.com<br />
2nd Annual Parental Alienation Awareness/ Bubbles of Love Day event Saturday
April 28th 2012 @ Se 60th(crosstreet is Duke) in Brentwood Park. 11am-2:00 Come
blow bubbles sharply at noon to spread love to kids around the world that are
separated from their loving parent due to parental alienation. The bubble is a
symbol of love and how it should take us higher and should not be contained.
Free literature on pa, pa resources and info, free "kids need both
parents" stickers, and lots of bubble blowing fun! Life size panda for the
kids! Few snacks. Bring a picture of you and your child together last.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Bubbles of love campaign</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 12:00pm<br />
3001 Knoxville Center Mall Knoxville, TN, USA<br />
contact: Brenda Adkins, bgbenoit@yahoo.com<br />
To bring awareness to the public and press!<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Springfield Second Annual Bubbles Of Love Day</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11:30 am<br />
2005 West Lawrence Avenue Springfield, Illinois, USA<br />
contact: Ahna Gooch, ahna_1969@yahoo.com<br />
This will be the second time we have had this event in Springfield. Planning
a bigger event this year than last. The bubbles represent Love, how love takes
us all higher, and how just like bubbles, love cannot and should not be
contained. Please come out and help us Blow Bubbles to show the Children that
is alright to love both parents.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Parental Alienation Awareness Day and End Child Abuse</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11 am<br />
State House in Montgomery Montgomery, Alabama, USA<br />
contact: , info@alfra.org<br />
Parental Alienation awareness day. We're meeting at the Steps of the State
House in Montgomery, Alabama at 11am sharp. Talk with state reps for support of
April 25th being designated as Parental Alienation Awareness Day. Let<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>s help educate the law makers
and general public on the devastating effects that parental alienation has on
our children. We<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>re
inviting all churches, organizations, school, daycares, businesses,
neighborhoods in our cities and surround communities to <span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>Blow soap bubbles representing LOVE on April
25th<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Loganville, Georgia 1st Annual Bubbles of Love Day</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11:45am<br />
Loganville Toddler Park - 4385 Pecan Street Loganville, Georgia, USA<br />
contact: Hilary Crowe/Angie Kadow, georgiapaawareness@gmail.com<br />
Georgians everywhere are invited to the 1st Annual Bubbles of Love Day in
Loganville, Georgia! We will be blowing bubbles at the Loganville Toddler Park
behind City Hall on Pecan Street in downtown Loganville, Georgia. Feel free to
bring kids, friends, anybody that wants to support honoring alienated children
everywhere in a fun, supportive way!<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>N.E. Wisconsin's Bubbles of Love Event</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11:30am<br />
N1788 Lily of the Valley Dr Greenville, WI, USA<br />
contact: Stacy Spaulding, sspaulding123@new.rr.com<br />
Love & Laughter Will Come Together for N.E. Wisconsin's 1st Annual
Bubbles of Love Event! We will be there starting at 11:30am with BUBBLES at
NOON! Please come & share in this Very Special Event & Help Us Blow
Bubbles of Love to Create Awareness about Parental Alienation! Education &
Awareness = Prevention! Bubbles provided as we will only be using
"green" bubble products!<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Bubbles of Love</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 11am<br />
Coeur D Alene City Park Coeur D Alene, Idaho, USA<br />
contact: Monica Preciado, NWParentalAA@gmail.com<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Central Valley Parental Alienation Awareness</strong><br />
Saturday, April 21, 2012 5 pm<br />
5281 N. McCall fresno/clovis, ca, USA<br />
contact: marylou, marylou.vv@gmail.com<br />
a casual dinner with an information table/booth and victims of parental
alienation will speak. approaching mayors in our city and surrounding cities
for PAA proclamations.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Parental Alienation Awareness Day Candlelight Vigil</strong><br />
6:00 PM-8:<br />
South Steps State Capitol 1900 Kanawha Blvd East Charleston, WV, USA<br />
contact: Kelly Rice, c4aj@aim.com<br />
Sponsored by Center for Family and Justice Inc<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Bubbles of Love Day!!!</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 10:00 am<br />
Balboa Park-Pepper Grove Park San Diego, California, USA<br />
contact: Liza Alvarado, bubblesoflovedaysd@gmail.com<br />
Mayor Jerry Sanders has proclaimed April 25, 2012 as Parental Alienation
Awareness Day in San Diego! Please join me, and many others, in raising
awareness of this form of emotional child abuse among families on April, 25th,
2012 @ noon in Pepper Grove Park, within Balboa Park, by blowing bubbles to
represent love for the children through our Bubbles of Love Event! Just like
bubbles, love should flow and float freely to the children, by BOTH parents.
All children deserve to give and receive love by BOTH parents. All those
involved with children and families; the family courts, lawyers, judges, social
workers, mental health workers, health care workers, teachers, and day care
workers, need to be aware of this ongoing problem affecting innocent children
everyday. This is a family friendly and pet friendly event! Bubbles will be
provided! We will be spreading awareness starting at 10 am and will be blowing
bubbles at exactly 12 pm. Hope to see you there! Please contact me if you are
interested in donating or volunteering for this event.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Parental Alienation Awareness/ Bubbles of Love Day Rally</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 12:00 PM<br />
In Front of The Statehouse, 125 West State St. Trenton, NJ, USA<br />
contact: www.pasanj.org, parentalalienationnj@gmail.com<br />
Join Us as We Gather to Bring Attention To Parental Alienation. Be with us
as we Recognize Disrupted Families. Come to Learn More About What You Can Do To
Prevent or Stop Parental Alienation<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Orlando Parental alienation awareness and bubbles of love day!</strong><br />
1130 am<br />
to be announced Orlando, Florida, USA<br />
contact: Charles Hamilton, dakotaspappa@aol.com<br />
We curently need people and a location! please contact me if you are in the
area and are interested! Mayor Dyer sighned a Proclamation!! awesome for
Orlando Thank you Mayor Dyer!<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Bubbles of Love Carrollton, GA</strong><br />
Saturday, April 28, 2012 8am<br />
Tanner Beach State Park Carrollton, GA, USA<br />
contact: , mothertoanother@gmail.com<br />
Bubbles of Love for the "lost" children of PA. Join us on Tanner Beach
to blow bubbles and raise awareness of this under recognized form of child
abuse and emotional assualt! We hope to see you there!<br />
<strong>Bubbles of Love</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 NOON<br />
Common Ground Park Lakeland, Florida, USA<br />
contact: Danica Joan Fields, danica@paawareness.org<br />
This is the first scheduled event for parental alienation awareness in the
Central Florida area. We are asking you to participate wherever you are if you
are unable to meet up at Common Ground Park. Contact us to gather enough bubbles
and educational materials for your participants and spectators. At noon go to a
public place and blow bubbles. Start a conversation with those around you about
how important it is for children to have both parents in their lives<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Bubbles of Love Roopville, GA</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 7:00 pm<br />
Downtown Roopville, GA, USA<br />
contact: Birthrights4Equality, birthrights4equality@yahoo.com<br />
This is my family along with other alienated parents i know from our small
town we r going to blow bubbles in the wind for our "lost" children!
please join us!<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Bubbles for love and lighting of candles</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 2 PM<br />
29 North Charlottesville, VA, USA<br />
contact: Melanie, acmqueens3@gmail.com<br />
Bubbles for love. Each bubble is a child being alienated. Alienation is
abuse on our children. At dusk we will light a candle for the children we know
that are being abused by alienation. Our goal is to also educate as many people
as we can.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>Bubbles of Love</strong><br />
Saturday, April 28, 2012 11:00<br />
Ora Mae Horn Park Marana, Arizona, USA<br />
contact: Saralee Burkett, saraleeburkett@yahoo.com<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>bubbles of love day / parental alienation awareness day</strong><br />
10:00 am<br />
The Auburn Eagles 705 M St SE Auburn, Wa, USA<br />
contact: Heather Hartzell, ladyofthelandfill@yahoo.com<br />
The Bubble man will be performong from 10:30 to 11:30. we will be handing
out bubbles and blowing bubbles at noon for 10 minutes. Everyone is welcome<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>The Toby Center presents Parental Alienation Awareness Day</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 12pm<br />
1100 S. Federal Highway, Suite 3 Boynton Beach, FL, USA<br />
contact: Samira Fouladi, sfouladi88@gmail.com<br />
On Wednesday April 25th, The Toby Center in conjunction with the Chamber of
Commerce for Palm Beach County, will hold the official ribbon cutting ceremony
as well as acknowledge the 7th annual Parental Alienation Awareness Day. The
festivities will take place at The Toby Center Offices from 12-2pm and
admission is free and open to the public. Food and refreshments will be
provided.<br />
<br />
<strong>Parental Alienation Awareness Rally/ Bubbles of Love Day</strong><br />
Wednesday, April 25, 2012 12:00pm<br />
125 West State Street, in front of the Statehouse Trenton, NJ, USA<br />
contact: Anna Tivade, parentalalienationnj@gmail.com<br />
WHO: YOU! We can't make this without YOU! WHAT: Rally for International
Parental Alienation Awareness Day/ Bubbles of Love Day WHEN: Wednesday, April
25, 2012, 12:00pm-2:00pm WHERE: In front of the Statehouse, 125 West State
Street, Trenton, NJ WHY: To increase Parental Alienation Awareness to the
general public, the media, and our legislators. To dedicate this day for every
individual that has been hurt by Parental Alienation. ***Parental Alienation
Support & Advocacy NJ, ***WWW.PASANJ.ORG<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>A Free Workshop With Dr. Amy Baker</strong><br />
Thursday, April 26, 2012 7:00 PM<br />
111 West 2nd Street Moorestown, NJ, USA<br />
contact: Moorestown Library,<br />
<br />
WHAT HAPPENS TO CHILDREN WHEN ONE PARENT TURNS THEM AGAINST THE OTHER? A
FREE WORKSHOP FOR: PARENTS, GRANDPARENTS, EDUCATORS, GUIDANCE COUNSELORS,
HEALTH PROFESSIONALS, PSYCHOLOGISTS, THERAPISTS, SOCIAL WORKERS, LEGISLATORS,
LAWYERS, AND JUDGES The Moorestown Library presents a FREE workshop by one of
the foremost authorities on parental alienation syndrome (PAS), a potentially
devastating phenomenon that you don<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">��</span>t
want to affect your children. Participants in this workshop will: <span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">��</span> Learn the 8 signs and
symptoms of PAS <span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">��</span> Learn
about the strategies that one parent may use to turn the children against the
other parent <span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>V some of
the same strategies used by cult leaders! <span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">��</span>
Discover more than 10 triggers that can lead an adult to realize that he or she
was a child victim of alienation by a parent <span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">��</span>
Understand why it is important for everyone to learn about this problem so that
we can prevent its progression and protect the parent-child bond <span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">��</span> Hear an expert dispel myths
about PAS <span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">�</span>V such as
that it only happens to fathers and it only occurs in divorces Please join Dr.
Amy J.L. Baker, Director of Research at the New York Foundling Fontana Center
for Child Protection, and a developmental psychologist with a Ph.D. from
Columbia University, as she speaks on this important topic. Dr. Baker has
conducted rigorous parent-child research for nearly 20 years, published
numerous journal articles, and helped hundreds. Dr. Baker is the author of
ADULT CHILDREN OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME: BREAKING THE TIES THAT BIND
(W.W. Norton & Co., 2007) and the children<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">��</span>s
book entitled, I DON<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">��</span>T
WANT TO CHOOSE. She has been featured on TV and radio and is dedicated to
helping to educate and empower people to address this difficult issue. For more
information, visit Dr. Baker<span style="font-family: "Tahoma","sans-serif";">��</span>s
website at www.amyjlbaker.com. WORKSHOP DATE: Thursday, April 26, 2012 TIME:
7:00 to 9:00 p.m. LOCATION: Moorestown Library 11<br />Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-62268598993577513712012-04-16T15:51:00.001-05:002012-04-16T15:51:20.059-05:00If I were to teach a class....<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">One thing I would like to do is to teach a class or speak about parental alienation, using my experience and experiences of others. I would love to be able to speak with attorneys, mediator and judges about this, so they could better understand. I would love to have the laws changed so that every high conflict custody case would have to go through some type of parental alienation education class. This so called class would address symptoms, behaviors, solutions and support. While this is a thought still in process, here are some ideas off the top of my head.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I am so glad you decided to listen to me today. While my story is not uncommon in high conflict divorce/custody cases, it does happen more often than not. Although I cannot state a percentage of custody cases that result in parental alienation, I believe the number has risen over the years either by knowledge and the acceptance that it does occur, or by the availability of social medias and the Internet searches. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Divorce and custody cases have occurred for decades and in this time there has been an increase in the number of difficult cases. The case where you have a parent unwilling to budge on any issue and</span><span style="font-size: small;"> who is very unreasonable in their feelings toward the other parent with</span><span style="font-size: small;"> the contact/visitation schedule with the other parent has has also increased. Perhaps this is the first time you have heard about abuse, especially sexual abuse. Searching your local police department records does not show any entries of domestic violence or abuse to the children. Your client may be adamant that abuse happened and has occurred for years, but they were too scared for reasons explained why there are no records of abuse. A bit of research on your part about parental alienation will demonstrate an increase of allegations of abuse just prior to or after the divorce petition. </span><span style="font-size: small;"><b> </b>You must
not immediately dismiss an allegation as false because the parents are
in the midst of a divorce but must also guard against presuming guilt
and aligning yourself with the reporting parent's agenda. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I believe that extensive interviews with both parents and children by both attorneys, mediators, judges and psychologists must be taken into account without bias. You will find the alienating parent to be unwilling to budge on any of their claims and requests concerning the children. The alienating parent may even become more rigid and unreasonable. The alienating parent may divert attention off themselves by placing blame upon the other parent, the children or reference to non exist court orders or nonexistent ongoing investigations. The psychologist may note the alienating parent exhibits narcissistic personality traits as well as anti social behaviors. The target parent my often be </span>passive, overly accommodating, or emotionally constricted. In many cases of parent alienation, the passive partner not only
tolerates criticism and accusation, but engages in self-questioning. One confusing aspect of the dynamics of parent alienation cases is that
the alienated parent sometimes has more obvious symptoms of
psychological distress, such as depression or anxiety, than the
alienating parent. When psychological health is defined as the absence
of internal distress or conflict, this factor makes it appear that the
alienating parent is the healthier parent. However, this appearance is
misleading.</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Arial,Helvetica;"><b></b></span><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<br /></div>
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Everyone, including the attorneys, mediators, judges, psychologists and parents must be in concert about therapy or ongoing education for the benefit of the children. These were two individuals who married that met as two people seeking a relationship with another adult. Hopes and dreams may have been forfeited, but one fact remains, they both loved and cared for the child/children. This fact gets lost in all the bickering, blaming and court proceedings. They once were adults, but act now as children with a playground temper tantrum. It is as if there was a contest with the children as the grand prize. </div>
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If these messages and teachings could be taught and practiced, I think the prevalence of alienation could decrease. </div>
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1) Parents, at one time you cared and loved each other enough that you brought a life into this world. This gift is from both of you. Your children are the innocent party, only wanting love, security and praise from both of you. Your children seek acceptance from both of you and want to love you both without conflict.</div>
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2) The divorce is between the adults. Even though your children may be older and "appear" grown, they do NOT want to hear about this. They wish it would not be happening and are coping the best they can without your input of choosing sides. They do NOT want to pick one parent over the other. If your children are younger, please so not destroy them more by engaging them into an adult issue. They are not equipped mentally and emotionally. </div>
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3) Parents keep your derogatory opinions about the other parent away from ANY source that can be leaked back to your children. Keep your correspondence from your attorney and yourself private and hidden from your children. Keep your files and letters, notes, blog writings and any social media updates (if you are that ignorant) that are derogatory to the other parent to yourself and do not share with your children or with those that can let them read them. </div>
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4) Practice gratitude towards the other parent no matter how small in front of your children. Remember without this other person, you would not have the child. You have to be grateful for that fact...don't you? </div>
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5) Do not reinforce negative comments made by your children. Your child may be parroting your behaviors. If TRUE abuse is taking place, leave it up to the professionals to investigate. You most likely are not in the profession that investigates this, and if you are you know you must remain distant. Instead of taking the negative comments made by your child teach them problem solving instead. ( I have seen parents complain that the other parent does not see the child and further questioning about visitation results in an impossible visitation schedule for the non custodial parent, based on the custodial parents demands) So instead when your child complains that the other parent did not do this or that, look at yourself and see if you have made this happen. Instead of saying the other parent does not care, tell your child the other parent is trying real hard. Giving a little credit is not going to kill you. </div>
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6) If you keep telling your children directly or indirectly via body language and innuendos that the other parent is evil, bad, a poor parent, stupid and other derogatory terms, your child at some point will connect the dots that they are that way as well. </div>
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7) Most important...at some point and I do not know when, your children are going to seek answers. You, as an alienating parent, cannot stay the controlling factor in your children's lives forever. Do not continue a cycle of abuse or start one. You are the adult. You got married, had children, the marriage did not work out so do something productive. Get therapy for the failure of the marriage, get a hobby, do things you wanted, start your bucket list...but leave the children out of this fight. </div>
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As for how my experience figures into this, I also was facing a failed marriage. . My husband and I had one child. Problems arose shortly after the birth of our son. I suggested counseling which he refused. When it became apparent to him that divorce was happening, he suddenly wanted counseling and appealed to my maternal senses of having another child. While I longed for another child, I could not raise another child in the environment that was present then. As for the his suggested counseling, I refused as I felt it was a ploy by him. I do not know if he would have carried out a successful counseling term or not. We did try other ways of reconciling our marriage though. Church and friends played a big part of this, although must report was to no avail. While the original divorce-custody issues were not easy, I felt they worked somewhat. Our son was having contact with his dad, although in reality it was in name only. He spent time at dad's home, but was never cared for by him. In my usual defense, his dad worked hard and was away from the home a lot due to his job. As the years passed and usual arguments over care, school, medical concern of son escalated...I would find myself in a battle that I never imagined or could conceive. </div>
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I became a tyrant about education according the courts and my ex. Insisting our son get a solid and excellent education would work against me. I did not like the public school system and had him in private schools, even while his dad and I were married and thought he agreed on this. His dad supported this idea until he decided to use it against me. My working overtime, weekends and odd shifts for the extra income was fine when we were married, but became a major issue when he fought for custody. While we were married, having a nanny was acceptable but was a major issue when we became divorced. Attending church was fine while we were married, but again became an issue used against me in the custody issue. Everything I thought we stood for and thought was important became major roadblocks. While we sat in the mediators office, I felt as I was chastised for wanting our son to attend a good school, to strive for college and to attend church. </div>
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In time I realized I could either keep fighting or as the judge stated and I think is so WRONG, that if I do not let the child go,the child will run away. So I let my son go live with his dad, realizing that in time I may never see him again, or to attempt to have contact with hopes that in time our son will see I did the best I could. I did what I could, traveling hundreds of miles to see him and to be denied access. The financial costs and physical,mental and emotional pain were noting compared to what I assumed were the finality of never having contact again. </div>
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As time passed, my hatefulness and contempt of how my husband was making me feel towards his actions, turned to sorrowfulness. I never wanted our child to hate his dad, but this seemed to be the goal of his dad. I had to learn to take my adult feeling of resentment and turn it into a positive. I also had to learn how to project this upon our son who would have nothing to do with me. </div>
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As time passed some circumstances would present themselves. Our son had a major medical emergency and I was called by a friend after his dad would not answer the phone. After driving about 3+ hours of highway speed and arriving at the hospital and being able to see our son, the next question without hesitation was has his dad been notified to those in the room. I placed a call, to only reach his voice mail and left a message. This is when I realized, the child matters, not you or I.</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Arial,Helvetica;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Parental alienation is not about you, me, our ex... it is about the children and how we handle it to hopefully stop the cycle of abuse. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Arial,Helvetica;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Please stop the abuse of parental alienation. </span></span>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-79100729838184922242012-03-24T14:57:00.002-05:002012-03-24T15:04:19.520-05:00some great resourcesI have talked about reading and researching about parental alienation and I have forgotten to include some links to some resources that I have used in my journey.<br /><br />Here are a couple of books that I have read and think you may find helpful as well.<br /><br /><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=parentalali0a-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=1589793765&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe><br /><br /><br /><br /><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=parentalali0a-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0979696011&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width:120px;height:240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-39934858647616662822012-03-24T12:50:00.003-05:002012-03-24T13:58:55.781-05:00My journey,,without an instruction manualI have been somewhat absent in my posting about parental alienation for some time. I have been working on my relationship with my son. I am sure most that follow this blog have understood that he has come back into my life. I am more than ecstatic about this.<br /><br />While I feel a sense of responsibility to post about parental alienation, I have had to take time to rebuild a relationship. I found this requires some patience and time; it also requires the ability to accept things one cannot change or have answers to.<br /><br />When I think back to the beginning of what I would learn about parental alienation, I was in despair. How could this be happening to me, what did I do and how dare my ex do this to our child? It is not about the loving parent and the relationship of a child. It is about a parent who cannot fathom losing a battle, a parent who cannot fathom their child loving this other parent who "hurt" them. It is about immaturity and selfishness of a parent, who encourages a child to side with them.<br /><br />I did all the court battles, followed my attorney's advice sometimes, but mainly I read, researched and never gave up and remained consistent in my love for my son. I did not attempt to "buy' his love and I never promised something I could not deliver. I was left in massive debt, was without utilities many,many times, was hungry, struggled to make ends meet and alienated friends. My goal was to have my son back and nothing would stop me.<br /><br />When my son turned 18, this was the worst day of my life. I cried and was inconsolable. He had stated not to me, but to a friend of his who confided in me, that when he turned 18 he would never have anything to do with me again. I could have passed this off as a smack talk, but he was like me and he was determined. He held true to his turning 18 statement. He was an adult and did not have to do anything per the courts anymore, as his dad told him. My son was happy that he was in control now I think. I was the enemy, the evil woman who birthed him, but I was not a mother. He was in control. They won the fight.<br /><br />I continued my fight. I attempted contact, maintaining my love for him and desire to work things out. My son maintained his "turning 18" mantra.<br /><br />Somehow, call it divine intervention, things started to change. It seems his dad was not there when our son needed him most nor did not seem to care about his pressing problem at the time and our son needed a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. My phone rang and on the other end was our son wanting someone to talk to who would just undersand and not say some cliche saying and tell him to get over it. This was the start of what would become a new relationship.<br /><br />In the years that have passed, I am still working on that relationship and still not promising anything I can not deliver. I am still there when a shoulder is needed. I am trying to learn to a balance of caring without being obtrusive and hoping I do not appear aloof. <br /><br />One of the most difficult things to accept is the fact that I may never get answers as to why this happened, why my son acted in a way he did and why he lied in court. Perhaps he was smarter than both myself and my ex. He wanted to love both parents and he knew which one he could hurt and which one he had to cater to.<br /><br />So in closing, if you are alienating your children, please stop. You are not hurting your ex spouse, you are hurting your children. If your child continues to "side" with you, someday you may find yourself angry with your child that they have decided to seek out the other parent. If you are an alienated parent, keep showing your love and let your child come back to you. Do realize you may never have answers.Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-24058194976578173522012-03-08T14:01:00.002-06:002012-03-08T14:14:57.349-06:00words for thought<h1 style="margin: 0pt; font-size: 12px; font-family: lucida grande;"><span style="font-size:130%;">“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”</span></h1><p>I am sure my son's father and I would disagree on this quote. While we both may try to educate our son on experiences based on our own, one would have stated a very slanted biased view. </p><p>I think the important part of this quote is no matter what we try to teach our children, actions always speak louder than words. </p><p>If you are an alienated parent or an alienating parent, remember that your children will imitate you based more on your unspoken words and actions. <br /></p>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-88139608899744775412012-02-25T08:32:00.002-06:002012-02-25T09:32:26.313-06:00another quote of the dayI posted this on the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Parental-Alienation/346811572351"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">facebook</span> page</a>,<br /><h6 style="font-family: lucida grande;" class="uiStreamMessage" ft="{"type":1}"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span class="messageBody" ft="{"type":3}">“Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.”</span></span></h6><p>This quote really hit home for me, but I was unsure how others would relate to it. I believe that in cases of parental alienation, the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">aleinator</span> - <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">wheter</span> the custodial or non custodial parent, utilizes several tactics to persuade the child to turn against the other parent. The easiest way seems to cater to the child's immaturity, innocence and the "gimmes". Funny thing is these are also ways <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/story?id=132098&page=1#.T0j0tvXAOSo">abductors use lures to abduct children</a>. </p><p>I love animals and pets as does my son. His dad "tolerated" our one pet that we had, but did not like it. After he left and remarried, they got a pet. It was a surprise for our son. Then came another pet. This was the first time my ex realized he could persuade our son to spend more time with him, by having pets. I preferred to be the responsible pet owner by not having more animals than I could actually care for physically and financially . Then my son would start asking for things, knowing I could not afford them, but his dad could buy them. I did not buy into the buying game, as I could not afford these expensive items. I also was not willing to "buy" my son's love. He either loved me for the things I could provide that money could not buy, or he didn't. Pretty much I was willing to lose this battle, as my ex made significantly more than I did. I could not compete with him on this level.<br /></p><p>As the years have come and gone and I have had the wonderful opportunity to reunite with my son, this makes so much sense. He does not remember the race track and cars he wanted so bad for Christmas that I saved and scrimped for, but he remembers moments that he once stated he did not remember in court. There are other events that he recalls, that at one time he loathed or stated never happened. </p><p>As children mature, as well as we as adults mature, we tend to start to recall moments in time that money could never buy. Perhaps it is time spent with a grandparent who has since passed or a parent who has passed. Memories that money can not buy. I believe that at one time your children will reflect back to a special time and wish they could have that back. Those are the things that money cannot buy, but it is the feeling that you loved and cherished them. </p><p>Never give up on the love you have for your children. Let them know you love them, be <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">consistent</span> in that as well. Keep records, a diary, a private blog that you can print documents from and keep in a file they will find later. Send letters, if they are returned, keep them unopened in a file.<br /></p><p>Ask yourself this...what do you recall most from your own childhood. Was it the gifts or a memory that money could not buy?<br /></p>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-35564917846761965182012-01-02T10:26:00.003-06:002012-01-02T11:09:45.777-06:00Burnt Toast<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdCQGyUW9oTZxhCvalC89zNCNlTJFaY9pYvk0n5cBevB_yier6vD9ai_S9Ac13uLdYyCcckjxIp_2q53o3aOGbA_KrR4c3puOxSZy-huhw1rx4hepAdVTSlwLNG21WiZv6bIc-1Q/s1600/20090904-burnttoast.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdCQGyUW9oTZxhCvalC89zNCNlTJFaY9pYvk0n5cBevB_yier6vD9ai_S9Ac13uLdYyCcckjxIp_2q53o3aOGbA_KrR4c3puOxSZy-huhw1rx4hepAdVTSlwLNG21WiZv6bIc-1Q/s320/20090904-burnttoast.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693074160549571362" border="0" /></a><br />I knew I had not posted in some time, but did not realize how long it has been since I posted on this blog. Over the year I have been reestablishing a relationship with my son and reflecting upon myself and thoughts. Sorry for the lapse in publishing. To be beneficial to my followers and to others, I needed this time.<br /><br />What does burnt toast have to do with parental alienation? Well burnt toast does not, but hopefully the analogy will cause one to reflect. I found this quote and realized it makes sense.<br />"<span style="font-family:georgia, bookman old style, palatino linotype, book antiqua, palatino, trebuchet ms, helvetica, garamond, sans-serif, arial, verdana, avante garde, century gothic, comic sans ms, times, times new roman, serif;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">If you get upset when the toast burns, what are you going to do when your house burns down</span>?"<br /><br />My ex, did everything in his power to anger me and he was successful many times. This in turn started feelings of anger towards my son, due to his reactions of what his dad was doing. My son was reacting the way his dad wanted and my response gave them validation to continue their campaign of degradation. When I was able to put into perspective of what was important to me, I was finally able to work on reestablishing a relationship.<br /><br />So back to the burnt toast. I hate it when I am craving some toast and jam and I go through the steps to prepare this and fail to pay attention and burn my toast. So I throw away the burnt toast and start over. If I am set on the perfect piece of toast and do not achieve that, I may end up going through a whole loaf of bread. The same applies to achieving a successful outcome to parental alienation.<br /><br />It won't be perfect. But why waste your time and anger over trying to achieve the perfect piece of toast? Before you know it, you could go through your whole loaf of bread seeking perfection and in the meantime burn down your house losing all the precious memories.<br /><br />Getting your children back, takes alot of patience and tolerance. Things have changed and it will never be the same. Having your children return means that you can start new and build a new relationship, while allowing them to remember the good times in the past in their own time.<br /><br />Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and strength to endure the tribulations of parental alienation. <br /></span>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-23264123028938749172011-01-16T09:28:00.002-06:002011-01-16T10:05:39.238-06:00Quotes of the day...parentingChildren desperately need to know - and to hear in ways they understand and remember - that they're loved and valued by mom and dad.<br /> <b>Paul Smally<br /><br /></b>While we try to teach our children all about life,<br /> Our children teach us what life is all about.<br /> <b>Angela Schwindt<br /><br /></b>Let parents bequeath to their children not riches, but the spirit of reverence.<br /> <b>Plato<br /><br /></b>If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings.<br /> <b>Brian Tracy<br /><br /></b>The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.<br /> <b>Orlando A. Battista<br /><br /></b>Children are not our property, and they are not ours to control any more that we were our parents' property or theirs to control.<br /> <b>Richard Bach<br /><br /></b>Parents must get across the idea that "I love you always, but sometimes I do not love your behavior."<br /> <b>Amy Vanderbilt</b><br /><br />Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.<br /> <b>Michael Levine<br /><br /></b>While<b> </b>I feel that all these quotes are very moving, the last three really strike a chord if you are a target parent. Unfortunately in some custody cases, parental alienation becomes very apparent. Quite often one parent, often the alienator, uses the children as property that is to be divided in a settlement. A caring parent would always have the child's best interest at hand. That can be difficult especially when one spouse is very mean. You may be divorcing your spouse, but the children did not ask for this. They also are very scared of their life being disrupted and one parent purposely denying their children access to the other parent is extremely harsh. If you are an alienating parent the greatest disservice you can do for your children is to talk badly about the other parent, convince them to hate the other parent, encourage them to hate them, lie to them and to restrict access to the other parent. Those actions are not one of a parent.<br /><br />I remember growing up and experiencing some actions of alienation by my mother. Although, I did not know the term alienation or even tied it to alienation until recently. There was a time in my childhood that my mother was contemplating divorce, I think. I got to hear all kinds of bad behaviors that my dad did to her and to me, although I do not remember any of these actions or behaviors. What I do remember is being angry with my mom for trying to get me to hate my dad. While my parents did not divorce, I do remember this vividly.<br /><br />My advice for the day to any alienating parents out there. You can continue to be an alienator and while you may win the immediate battle, you will end up losing in the end. Your children one day will look back, question actions, seek out answers and you may not like what returns to you. If you are a target parent, continue to love your children, hide the hurt from the painful words and never give up.<br /><br />Parental Alienation is abuse! Stop the abuse!Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-56601185506260942372010-12-05T14:14:00.001-06:002010-12-05T14:16:29.125-06:00Quotes of the day<span style="font-style: italic;">Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate. — Thomas della Peruta</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”----- Coretta Scott King</span><br /><br />These two quotes surely give you something to think about. Hate is such a strong word that evokes emotion. What is hate? Is it the statements of "I hate peas and will not eat them", is it "I hate not having enough money and wish I had a job that paid better"? I think those two statements are more of annoyances that anything else. If I hated peas so much and saw that they were served at a meal, I would make a scene. If I hated not having enough money, I would quit my job. Both of those options are extremes, so therefore I have to say my hatred of peas and not enough money are annoyances and something I can live with. I do nothing to spread my hate of these two things. I do not go on a pea hating campaign and I do not trash my job.<br /><br />We often use the term "hate" loosely. From hating peas or other vegetables, hating curfews placed upon us as teens by parents, to hating rules that govern us at work, we have at one time or another professed our hatred. In actuality, these scenarios more accurately describe a strong aversion or dislike of the situation or vegetable at hand.<br /><br />One of the things that is common about the perceived hatred of people, food, and things is fear. We don't know about a different culture or race or we have not tried a food that looks different, so there is a fear of the unknown and hence the word "hate" enters. It is not hate, it is a fear of the unknown.<br /><br />But when a child states they hate their parent, what is it? Is it real hatred because a teen is grounded because they disobeyed? Is it real hate when a young child says "I hate you" because they did not get their way? I do not believe so. I think those are words spoken by a child because they know it hurts you so much, but deep down they still love you.<br /><br />When a child in a divorce situation whom you have always had a positive relationship with suddenly professes their hatred for you, not only by words but by actions, this is hatred. How could a child hate the other parent so much? If you are not guilty of abuse, physical, sexual or emotional, then where does this hatred arise from. Children are not born to hate, but the seeds of hatred are sown by the parents. Be it to hate another race, religion, or person. In cases of parental alienation a child may be manipulated by a parent who wants to punish the other, or for custody. They are emotionally blackmailed by the alienator. Children are abused so that a partner can gain an advantage. These tactics fit a description of abuse.<br /><br />Children are not born to hate, they are taught it. Any parent who would teach a child to hate the other parent represents a grave and persistent danger to the mental and emotional health of that child. Parental alienation is abuse! Stop the abuse!Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-28121712907201807622010-11-22T18:52:00.001-06:002010-11-22T18:54:12.553-06:00getting ready for the holidaystaking a short break so I can shop and you may wish too as well. Shopping at Amazon.com<br /><br /><a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2Fgp%2Fb%2F%3Fnode%3D384082011&tag=parentalali0a-20&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325">blackfriday</a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=parentalali0a-20&l=ur2&o=1" width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px !important;" />Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-66873615059608881822010-11-06T14:15:00.003-05:002010-11-06T15:18:52.775-05:00Life’s a journey - not a destinationToday as many days, I listen to songs and I have listened to this one several times. Trying to decipher if this is a song that I can verbalize to others. Oh what the heck! I am going to give it a shot!<br /><br /><br />the lyrics<br /><br /><p style="font-style: italic;" align="center">I kept the right ones out<br />And let the wrong ones in<br />Had an angel of mercy<br />To see me through all my sins<br />There were times in my life<br />When I was goin’ insane<br />Tryin’ to walk through the pain</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" align="center">And when I lost my grip<br />And I hit the floor<br />Yeah, I thought I could leave<br />But couldn’t get out the door<br />I was so sick n’ tired<br />Of livin’ a lie<br />I was wishing that I would die</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" align="left"><span id="more-189"></span> </p> <p style="font-style: italic;" align="center">It’s amazing<br />With the blink of an eye<br />You finally see the light<br />It’s amazing<br />That when the moment arrives<br />You know you’ll be alright<br />It’s amazing<br />And I’m saying a prayer<br />For the desperate hearts tonight</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" align="center">That one last shot’s a Permanent Vacation<br />And a how high can you fly with broken wings<br />Life’s a journey - not a destination<br />And I just can’t tell just what tomorrow brings</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" align="center">You have to learn to crawl<br />Before you learn to walk<br />But I just couldn’t listen<br />To all that righteous talk<br />I was out on the street<br />Just tryin’ to survive<br />Scratchin’ to stay alive</p> <p style="font-style: italic;" align="center">“So, from all of us at Aerosmith to all of you out there, wherever you are.<br />Remember- the light at the end of the tunnel<br />may be you. Goodnight!</p>I understand this song was made during their days of drug and alcohol abuse. I also am interpreting it the way I am feeling at this time. I also understand that this song refers to a higher power. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, I am not here persuade you. I am just hopefully offering some insight and hope.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I kept the right ones out</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> And let the wrong ones in</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> Had an angel of mercy</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> To see me through all my sins</span><br /><br />My first thoughts were how I did not listen to others in my choice of my man. How others told me he was so wrong for me. Relationships were not working for me and "he" was the one for me. I could not listen to others. So glad I had my angel of mercy watching over me, as I would not realize how much the angel was needed.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">There were times in my life</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> When I was goin’ insane</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> Tryin’ to walk through the pain</span><br /><br />Never gave this much thought till now. Alienators try to make you feel crazy, insane, unstable. You are so confused. You are hurting due to many things. You are living a life of emotional pain.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">And when I lost my grip</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> And I hit the floor</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> Yeah, I thought I could leave</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> But couldn’t get out the door</span><br /><br />Alientaors will push you to limits and beyond. You hit rock bottom, thinking you can handle things, but you can't.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">I was so sick n’ tired</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> Of livin’ a lie</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> I was wishing that I would die</span><br /><br />what lie was I living? The lie that was made for me by the alienator. Did I wish i could die? Oh gosh many times....it had to be easier then the hell I was living.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">It’s amazing</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> With the blink of an eye</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> You finally see the light</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> It’s amazing</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> That when the moment arrives</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> You know you’ll be alright</span><br /><br />Not a blink of the eye if you are currently being targeted by the alienating parent. But as time has passed...I have to say a blink of an eye. Why? If one dwells and gets caught up in the moment and does not progress...you may not progress. That moment, if and when it arrives may not be what you wanted. As you look back, you will realize that you have arrived and will be alright.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">And a how high can you fly with broken wings</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Life’s a journey - not a destination</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> And I just can’t tell just what tomorrow brings</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">You have to learn to crawl</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> Before you learn to walk</span><br /><br />Wow! some powerful words!<br /><br />So in closing. I have made bad choices..am so glad to have my angel of mercy watching over me. You have to learn to crawl sometimes again so you can walk. It is amazing what persistence, faith and determination can do. Never give up! <span style="font-style: italic;">Life’s a journey - not a destination</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> And I just can’t tell just what tomorrow brings</span><br /><object style="background-image: url("http://i3.ytimg.com/vi/zSmOvYzSeaQ/hqdefault.jpg");" width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zSmOvYzSeaQ?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zSmOvYzSeaQ?fs=1&hl=en_US" allowscriptaccess="never" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-71785085875401901802010-10-31T11:46:00.002-05:002010-10-31T12:13:21.435-05:00Happy Halloween!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZY6VVL7MuoDYZQaClZDIWMGfy2uvTksRrhugFgCTWhS3bWGG9VjTh-0h98PsZxpw5rq5oF-AznFT6ShNRtZ3DxQL4c1QHYIvi0PD6Aq0F0EeyzadMcN_y3o5h0EDBrQmM9_NiJQ/s1600/happy_halloween_theme-202347-1230607603.jpeg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZY6VVL7MuoDYZQaClZDIWMGfy2uvTksRrhugFgCTWhS3bWGG9VjTh-0h98PsZxpw5rq5oF-AznFT6ShNRtZ3DxQL4c1QHYIvi0PD6Aq0F0EeyzadMcN_y3o5h0EDBrQmM9_NiJQ/s320/happy_halloween_theme-202347-1230607603.jpeg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5534259288116721538" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU4m69XUoDonnppJaP_9WLXno_Kk3qLe_l1lkbmKUdBd_0lAFbRWTgFOKPlWyXzHN7D7w62Bg8BTOnuIAVzQfnN9NXCjR76vxVgMeDCyXFoKzAna8bTkPAbvdZRiCY3ldB6JZgSg/s1600/halloween3tt9.gif"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 178px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjU4m69XUoDonnppJaP_9WLXno_Kk3qLe_l1lkbmKUdBd_0lAFbRWTgFOKPlWyXzHN7D7w62Bg8BTOnuIAVzQfnN9NXCjR76vxVgMeDCyXFoKzAna8bTkPAbvdZRiCY3ldB6JZgSg/s320/halloween3tt9.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5534253187889506754" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />Halloween...is a holiday that's celebrated annually on the night of October 31. It originated in Ireland. The word itself, "Halloween," actually has its origins in the Catholic Church. It comes from a contracted corruption of All Hallows Eve. November 1, "All Hollows Day" (or "All Saints Day"), is a Catholic day of observance in honor of saints. But, in the 5th century BC, in Celtic Ireland, summer officially ended on October 31. The holiday was called Samhain (sow-en), the Celtic New year. The custom of Halloween was brought to America in the 1840's by Irish immigrants fleeing their country's potato famine. At that time, the favorite pranks in New England included tipping over outhouses and unhinging fence gates. The custom of trick-or-treating is thought to have originated not with the Irish Celts, but with a ninth-century European custom called souling. On November 2, All Souls Day, early Christians would walk from village to village begging for "soul cakes," made out of square pieces of bread with currants. The more soul cakes the beggars would receive, the more prayers they would promise to say on behalf of the dead relatives of the donors. At the time, it was believed that the dead remained in limbo for a time after death, and that prayer, even by strangers, could expedite a soul's passage to heaven. <br /><br />Now that you have had your little history lesson about Halloween......<br /><br />Halloween....whether you and your children celebrated it or not..you may have memories of the night. Doorbells ring, children dressed as ghosts, goblins and their favorite cartoon characters reciting the "trick or treat" mantra, in hopes of receiving a treat from your home. Perhaps you dressed your children up and went walking through your neighborhood and your children came home with more candy than they needed. The whole point of Halloween for me was doing something special with my son. Something he looked forward to until he became too old to trick or treat. Now that he is an adult, I miss those cold, dark nights bundled up to fend off the cold and walking from home to home with him. <br /><br />So tonight when your doorbell rings and a cute little character recites "trick or treat", give then a great treat, smile and enjoy the little ones. There may be a parent who is celebrating their last Halloween with their child tonight. <br /><br />Most of all, be safe, stay warm and check your child's candy before they eat it. Sad world we live in that one has to do this.Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-44934617155339804092010-10-25T06:40:00.002-05:002010-10-25T07:44:25.690-05:00best interest of the child?The best interests of the child is something parents hear about in custody cases. It is the doctrine used by most courts <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Court" title="Court"></a> to determine a wide range of issues relating to the well-being of the children<span style="font-weight: bold;">. </span>I am sure we have read over the guidelines used in determining what is the best interests of the child. There are two guidelines I find are conflicting, when parental alienation is present. The capacity of each parent to allow and encourage frequent and continuing contact between the child and the other parent, including physical access and the preference of the child.<br /><br />When parental alienation is present, the alienating parent often limits contact or refuses contact between the children and other (target) parent. The children are brainwashed against the other (target) parent and many times will tell the court that they do not want to see the target parent. This is where the problem lies with the courts. They fail miserably in cases of parental alienation. I do not believe that judges and attorneys are clueless to the actions of parental alienation. I believe they have been well aware of this phenomenon for years, but the current penalties that judges can impose are useless. One can file contempt charges against the alienating parent, but I have found that getting the case heard is difficult. I had my contempt cases rescheduled several times because my ex would have a "reason" why he could not attend court that day. The judges also get irritated when one parent seems to file contempt proceedings as well. As time goes on, the child is being programmed more and more against the target parent. Then the judge listens to the child who states they want nothing to do with you, they hate you and more. I had counseling ordered, but my ex refused to attend. By the time all was said and done, I had a child who wanted nothing to do with me, told the judge he refused to live with me and would run away if forced to live there. The judge felt his hands were tied. Instead of the judge making that decision, I had to allow my son to live with his dad, so I would not have to deal with a runaway.<br /><br />Alienating parents use the children as accomplices in a crime of hate. The alienating parent will say, I tried to make them see you, but they refuse. Where are the adults in this? When did a minor get to state what they want and have it granted? This is not about a gift they wish for and hope they get it. This is about having contact with the parents who love them.<br /><br />The courts are doing a great disservice to parents by allowing the "preference of the child" to dominate custody cases. The courts fail to act upon the blocking of access properly. <br /><br />Studies show time and time again that children benefit from having contact with both parents. This is barring any verifiable and documented cases of TRUE abuse, not the abuse claims made by the alienating parent and by the children who are vague in details or way too knowledgeable of details based upon their age. You may not like your ex and most likely do not if they are an ex now. That does not mean they are now a terrible parent. Children benefit from having contact, love and a stable relationship with both parents. One parent who attempts to sabotage this as a means for revenge is wrong.<br /><br />The courts need to step up to the bar (pardon the pun) and put a stop permanently to the actions of parental alienation. <br /><br />When did the best interests of the child mean denying them access to both parents?<br /><br />PARENTAL ALIENATION IS ABUSE! STOP THE ABUSE!Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-47782821321421959132010-10-24T14:46:00.001-05:002010-10-24T14:52:36.122-05:00Yanni at the Acropolis - Until The Last Moment...Some days I listen to songs to sing along, other days to be cheered up by a familiar tune. Sometimes I am searching a relaxing melody so I can lose myself in a thought. I like many genres of music, but many times I seek out a classical type of music. So today I was searching youtube for some Yanni videos. OK call me cheesy...But I came across this one and had to listen many times to hear what he says at the beginning of the video. That lead me to googling quotes by him. I came across the following.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">No matter what happens in life, never lose sight of who you are.</span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">My father taught me that one of the most important abilities in life is to be able to take the pain and persevere, and for years this lesson had served me well.</span><br /><br />this is what he says in this video:<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Sometimes we get caught up in our troubles and our problems and we let life slip away, but life is precious, all of life, and one must try to take in as much of it as possible</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><object style="background-image: url("http://i3.ytimg.com/vi/Nx1CbH2Bsao/hqdefault.jpg");" width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Nx1CbH2Bsao?fs=1&hl=en_US"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Nx1CbH2Bsao?fs=1&hl=en_US" allowscriptaccess="never" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-77819261136244448082010-10-24T10:00:00.002-05:002010-10-24T12:04:37.457-05:00parenting during alienationOne could say that parenting a child while being a target in an alienation case is an oxymoron. How does a parent be a parent during this? How do we as parents correct the abhorrent behavior that our children have? Any correction or punishment of their behavior only adds fuel to the alienation and to the alienating parent. Grounding your child sends the message that you are the bad parent, because the other parent is constantly instilling that message to them. Your children could be told things such as, see I told you your mom/dad doesn't let you do anything, see I told you your mom/dad is always grounding you and more.<br /><br />So what does a parent do? I don't have a blanket answer and what has worked for me may not work for your case. Target parents are looking for advice and are willing to do what it takes to overcome this as well. You may be wondering what was my "secret" to finally have my son start coming around. There is no secret or special formula. But I can talk about my case and hope that what I have gone through and done helps other target parents. This is my goal, to help other target parents overcome the alienation and to reconnect with their children. My other goal is to have the legal system and counselors recognize this alienating behavior for what it is.<br /><br />One piece of advice that I got was to "pick my battles". Pick my battles? What are you talking about? How many can I choose?<br /><br />Let me state that I was not aware of the term parental alienation until after my son accused me of abusing him after a weekend visit in the summer. He spent the summers with his dad and for years all went well, or so I thought. This particular year 2005, things changed. We had a good weekend considering all the problems that happened that weekend. I was kissed goodnight, hugged and told that I was loved by my son. Looking back, I have to wonder if the problems were not part of a plan. I would later find out that my son was told that he could tell the judge where he wants to live and the judge has to listen to him if things change at mom's home. Prior to this weekend I had a son who was considerate, empathetic, sympathetic, loving, giving, respectful and always striving for a bigger goal academically. My son did not have a strong relationship with his dad. I fault his dad for this because his dad was always too busy with work and other activities to take time off to attend school functions and more. My son hated this and always made excuses for his dad, such as his dad's work is important and dad did not get enough notice to change his work schedule. I hated that my son thought this, but I never told him different. I just agreed that his dad had an important job. His dad never called on a regular basis and that bothered my son. But again, there was always an excuse. What I hated about the summer extended visits was that my son was not spending the time with his dad, but spending it with the new wife or girlfriend or in a daycare setting. His dad did have to work and did well in his job, but I never saw any efforts on his part to set aside special time for his son. Our son spent his time with others instead of his dad during the summer.<br /><br />After that weekend, as I call it, my life turned upside down and things changed drastically and seemingly overnight. Now my list of "pick my battles" was overwhelming. So what were the battles I thought I had to pick from? If you recall I have stated that my son did not get phone calls from his dad. Now he was getting calls up to 15 times per day. Not that it is bad, but it is a dramatic change from previous behavior of his dad. My son was going to his room to talk, but he was slamming shut a door to his room and locking it. Behavior that was also a dramatic change. When I asked that he did not slam his door, he would slam his door again. Asking my son to help set the table for dinner was now met with words of "you can't make me". Dinner was a major and stressful time. He would literally shovel his food into his mouth, and display horrendous table manners. He would leave the table within minutes and refuse to take his dinnerware to the sink. Telling my son I loved his was met with a look that just sliced my heart in two. School was a major issue. Letting him know that he had x amount of time to get ready for school was met with him rolling over and ignoring me. Repeated requests were ignored. Finally I was told that if I force him to do something, he will call the cops and report me for abuse. His school work suffered and I was told that he was trying to get kicked out of school so the judge will force him to live with his dad. I was told he "knew" how to run away and there was nothing I could do and the judge will say he can live with his dad. Peers and my family members were also subjected to this behavior. An elderly lady who always relied on his help with his taking groceries from her car to her house was told she can do it herself. It became embarrassing to hear his insults and rants to others. He refused to call me mom and either referred to me by my given name or as Hey. He told me to take sleeping medicine in excess and to indulge in foods that I was severely allergic to. I was told to buy him things because his dad buys him things. I was told his dad does what he wants. I was told his dad has a bigger and better home, so the judge will let him live there. I had a list of behaviors that were on my battle list and I had to pick carefully. Common courtesy, human decency and civility were completely lacking in his interaction with me and of those close to me.<br /><br />So I had to find out what a parent was. To me that meant that I loved him, showed him love, guided him, set good examples and try to mold him to be a productive citizen as well. That also meant to me that when he disobeyed reasonable requests, he would have repercussions as well. In the past that meant things such as doing well in school rewarded him. Good behavior could result in a new game or something he was wanting at the store. Bad behavior could be a grounding from the playstation system.<br /><br />His behavior was abhorrent and grounding was not going to work. He was not doing anything behavior wise to warrant a reward. My hands were tied for the most part.<br /><br />Then I thought about it. What is the most important thing a parent can do for their child beside offer shelter and the necessities of life, such as food, clothes, school supplies and such? LOVE. That is probably the most difficult things to feel good about when your child so clearly does everything in their power to appear that they hate you and want you to disappear completely from their life. Then I realized that the most important thing however, that any parent can give their child, is a sense of being loved and we have to remember that we are not perfect. Parents this is not a competition as to who can buy more for the child. We have faults, everyone does, parent or not.<br /><br />The battle I picked was the disrespectful to the parent one. I told him his behavior was not acceptable. I told him I will not hear him being disrespectful to me or to his dad. Yes, I had to bite my tongue and not say disparaging things about his dad and admit I was not always successful, but I caught myself and recognized my own behavior. I always told my son I loved him even when he was very clear in his hatred for me.<br /><br />Somehow with time, prayers, faith, preservation and many breakdowns of crying in private, things have changed.<br /><br />Although the courts have laws defining behavior of a parent who is denying visitation, I will touch upon the legal side at a later time.<br /><br />PARENTAL ALIENATION IS ABUSE! STOP THE ABUSE!Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-39463277894553849072010-09-27T08:44:00.002-05:002010-09-27T08:51:14.281-05:00suggested readingI think it is important as a target parent to do as much reading as possible about parental alienation. Here are a few of the books I have read. If you have not read them, think about getting yourself a gift. There are several books listed on Amazon pertaining to parental alienation. I picked out three today that I have read.<br /><br /><br /><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=parentalali0a-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0060934573&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width: 120px; height: 240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe><br /><br /><br /><br /><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=parentalali0a-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0393705196&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width: 120px; height: 240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe><br /><br /><br /><br /><iframe src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=parentalali0a-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=0878332081&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="width: 120px; height: 240px;" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-25166483027322387362010-09-26T10:33:00.002-05:002010-09-26T11:47:31.882-05:00Parental Alienation...what do you think when you hear that term?Parental Alienation.....a term that evokes emotion, speculation, arguments and agreement. If you are a target parent, you are in agreement that parental alienation is a true phenomenon. If you are part of the groups that dismiss parental alienation, you have many arguments against parental alienation. You believe it is nothing more than junk science. Why is there such disparity?<br /><br />I believe that in many divorce and custody cases, there is a mindset of one partner who will not stop at anything to "win". They fail to think of anyone but themselves, but will deny this vehemently. Their need for revenge, their hatred of the spouse, clouds their judgment and impedes their ability to act reasonably with regard for their children. I think they feel the children are young so therefore they can adapt to changes and do not know what is best for them. Although I agree that we must protect our children, we must not place our misguided perceptions above the needs of our children.<br /><br />Children need both parents and especially more after a divorce. In almost every case, aside from extreme abuse and neglect, kids benefit from significant time with both of their parents. This time spent with the other parent, should not be taken away because the other parent does not like the other. Unfortunately , this happens all the time.<br /><br />This hatred can fester within the other parent and stories start to surface. Perhaps, when the couple was together, they made time for a date night or made sure the other spouse had a night out with the boys or the girls. Perhaps date night included dinner with a bottle of wine. These seemingly normal activities take on a new light in parental alienation. The alienating parent will tell the children that mom or dad was always out on a boys or girls night out. The alienating parent will say that the other parent drank alcohol and embellishes the story more.<br /><br />The alienating parent will pursue an agenda of attempting to eliminate the children from the other parent's life. They will stop at nothing, including outright lies to the child and courts, perjury, using the legal system to harass, utilizing the police to harass, enlisting the help of friends and family to make false statements to government agencies, making false statements of abuse and more. They take shreds of truth and expand upon them and spin it into a story. For example, we enjoyed a drink occasionally. I then became and alcoholic who took my child on wild rides in the car. The judge focused more on the fact that I would have a drink. It was never about my having a drink, it became about my inability to control my drinking. Although, I worked some very odd hours, worked overtime, never called in sick to work and did not even have a speeding ticket, I was labeled a person who drank and had a problem. Although my ex spent many nights out with others, my one night out became an issue with the court. I think it was a shopping trip as well. I did spank my child once for running out in the street when he was little, so therefore I was abusive. Hence, the small amount of truth gets blown out of proportion. Any rebuttals I had were never heard. Alienators will block court ordered visitation, they will change phone numbers and refuse to provide a contact, they will enroll the child into activities that interfere with your parenting time. They will stop at nothing to prevent your contact with your children.<br /><br />Alienators are manipulators and are masters of deceit. Alienators are so hell bent on male or female bashing that they cannot see the forest through the trees. I am pretty certain that they possess traits of a narcissistic personality as well.<br /><br />One thing that bothers me when these groups that are against parental alienation as a real phenomenon start their rebuttals is that they always claim real abuse and that they are protecting their child. I have to wonder when this so called abuse started? Although I agree there are real cases of abuse, I think many of these groups are using parental alienation themselves and stating that parental alienation is junk science.<br /><br />Whatever your thoughts are about parental alienation are, I am sure you have met a person who is divorced. Have you ever encountered a divorced person who twenty years later can not stop badmouthing their ex? Have you ever witnessed them talking with their adult children and overheard them telling their children bad things about the other parent? Has this person talked about how abused they were and how their ex did not do as ordered by the court at any opportunity they have? Have you noticed that this person still hates the gender that they talk about? Have you ever noticed that if there is water cooler talk and one person may be having problems at home this one person is always willing to contribute their two cents about how bad that gender is and then proceed to tell you their horrors of their ex? That is an alienator.<br /><br />Parental alienation is real. it is not some made up problem. Any parent who once has a good relationship with their child who suddenly finds themselves being systemically and methodically eliminated from their child's life, through no fault of their own, can attest to this.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Parental alienation is abuse! Stop the abuse! </span>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-34986328882075253682010-09-25T12:47:00.002-05:002010-09-25T13:12:11.502-05:00Thoughts for the dayLately I have been thinking about lying. I have been thinking about all the lies told in my case and searching about quotations about lies. I came across several quotes, many you may have heard.<br /><dl><div align="left"> <dt><span style="font-size:-1;">"O, what a tangled web we weave; when first we practice to deceive! "</span> </dt></div></dl><span style="font-size:-1;">"Lies were like acid, corrosive: They could dissolve trust in a heartbeat."</span><span style="font-size:-1;"><br /><br /></span><span>"Who lies for you will lie against you."<br /><br /></span><span>"Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind."<br /></span><span><br />"Beware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half"<br /><br /></span>"A lie cannot live"<br /><br /><br />One of the quotes has struck a chord with me. A lie cannot live. Why? Something which is not true cannot continue to exist. It will take time, maybe even years, but eventually the truth will surface.<br /><br />If you are a target parent dealing with lies told about you, continue to be consistent in your love for your children, don't give up hope. Eventually the lies will be seen for what they are....lies.<br /><br />Always take the high road, no matter how painful it is. Always be truthful, but do not be an alienator. Always continue to try to have a relationship with your children, no matter how hurtful they are to you.<br /><br />Parental alienation is abuse! Stop the abuse!<br /><span><br /></span>Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-22174760709788205112010-08-20T17:18:00.002-05:002010-08-20T17:48:49.747-05:00Was she really "protecting" her child? Or is this parental alienation?According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, an estimated 355,000 children are abducted from their homes each year. These children can go days, weeks, months or even years with no contact from anyone except their abductor. And many of these children are not taken by strangers: They are abducted by their own parents. There are some who claim kidnapping their own children is the only option they have, but what about the other parent -- and what about the child?<br /><br />One such child was kidnapped by his mother in a contentious custody battle. Why did she do it? She painted a picture of sexual abuse to her daughter by her husband and her husband's son. The couple each had children prior to their marriage, she a daughter and he a son. Together they had a son. I do not believe allegations were made of sexual abuse to the son they had together, but only about the daughter.<br /><br /><br />The story can be found <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/04/03/48hours/main505283.shtml">here</a>. This is the story of Sindi Graber Linden and Paul Marinkovich and the bitter custody case over their son Gabriel. Sindi moved to 4 countries. I found many stories online about this story.<br /><br /><h2><a href="http://www.caller2.com/2001/july/17/today/localnew/5510.html"><span><span style="font-family:verdana, arial, helvetica;font-size:85%;">Mother who fled with son testifies: 'I had to'</span></span></a></h2><br /><h1 style="font-family: arial; font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://findarticles.com/p/news-articles/daily-mail-london-england-the/mi_8002/is_2001_July_27/mother-loses-custody/ai_n36373852/"><span style="font-size:100%;">Mother loses custody case</span></a></h1><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family: arial;">So is this mother protecting her son and other children from a monster, or is she selfish and punishing her ex husband for a failed marriage? </span></span>I believe this is a vindictive, manipulating, cunning ex wife who will stop at nothing to make her ex husband "pay" for their failed marriage. She had changed Gabriele's last name, asked him to avoid the cops because they were working for his dad. She told Gabriel that his dad was the new step father.<br /><br />This story hits home with me, because it shows what lengths a vindictive ex spouse will go to alienate a child against the other parent. Although my ex did not take my son to another country, he did move often, told my son he did not need his mother and stated the new wife was the mother.<br /><br />Not knowing where your child is, not being able to see them, talk to them, hear their voice is the most cruel punishment the other parent can inflict upon the other parent.<br /><br />Parental Alienation is ABUSE!STOP THE ABUSE!Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31497830.post-28965037425212238362010-06-20T10:14:00.003-05:002010-06-20T10:23:00.747-05:00Happy Father's Day<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBEtfn0TleItBds40uZ7EFlgVGyEMaTiRmDG5cLeeDup4bBhO2gJAPqAlYZ6D-BhfE5DBfYlsz7_TlP42stGUrBncApE_WJsaAM_h47g3SJK2_YntbKzaM6JyFaL0Vii-3IJOh-A/s1600/a_father_and_child.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 221px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBEtfn0TleItBds40uZ7EFlgVGyEMaTiRmDG5cLeeDup4bBhO2gJAPqAlYZ6D-BhfE5DBfYlsz7_TlP42stGUrBncApE_WJsaAM_h47g3SJK2_YntbKzaM6JyFaL0Vii-3IJOh-A/s320/a_father_and_child.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5484874568643748098" border="0" /></a>A Dad is a person<br /> who is loving and kind,<br /> And often he knows<br /> what you have on your mind.<br /> <br /> He's someone who listens,<br /> suggests, and defends<br /> A dad can be one<br /> of your very best friends!<br /> <br /> He's proud of your triumphs<br /> but when things go wrong<br /> A dad can be patient<br /> and helpful and strong.<br /> <br /> In all that you do,<br /> a dad's love plays a part<br /> There's always a place for him<br /> deep in your heart.<br /> <br /> And each year that passes<br /> you're even more glad,<br /> More grateful and proud<br /> just to call him your dad!<br /> <br /> Thank you, Dad .<br /> for listening and caring<br /> for giving and sharing<br /> but, especially, for just being you! Happy Father's Day<br /><br />To all the Dad's that are unable to see their children today, remember your child maybe feeling the loss as well. Your son or daughter is wishing you a Happy Father's Day in their thoughts.<br /><br />Any man can be a father, but it takes a special man to be a Dad!<br /><br />Happy Father's Day!Alienated momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16439933704255717566noreply@blogger.com1