Saturday, July 22, 2006

This is my first attempt at a blog so bear with me! Thanks!

I have encountered a disturbing phenomenon that is taking place in custody cases. Although I am not the first person to experience it I feel that the more stories that are made available to the public the better this scenario can be perhaps dealt with in the legal community. The phenomenon that I speak of is called parental alienation. What is alienation? Well according to several dictionary terms this best describes alienation. Alienation or estrangement is separation resulting from hostility. To delve deeper one finds that hostility is a state of deep seated ill-will. Why would one parent who loved you at one time take that one common bond (the child or children) and turn the love that the child or children have for a parent into a vendetta for their own personal satisfaction? This is what I would like to know myself, because I am the target parent in a case of parental alienation.
When you allow a child (any minor under 18) to begin choosing and making adult choices about visitations or who they want to live with, it makes them choose their loyalty. You are empowering them to make adult choices that they do NOT have the capacity to make. If there is alienation going on, the child will usually and most likely choose the parent who is doing the alienation and manipulation out of pure FEAR and ABANDONMENT or sometimes even physical or future psychological abuse from the alienator....The child will choose the alienator and reject the target parent to remain "SAFE".
Let me ask you do we allow our children to choose if they will go to school? Do we allow our children to do what they want and when they want? Allowing or making them choose which parent they want to spend time with sets the child up for conflict and is fertile ground for the alienator to do their evil deed of alienation.
Parental alienation can creep up you without your knowledge or it can hit you like a ton bricks. Why would your child who once gave you affection suddenly despise the ground you walk and the air that you breathe? Why would your child who once could not go to bed at night without telling you they loved you, now suddenly cannot articulate those words?
If you have not placed yourself into a situation of child abuse, why would you be accused of child abuse to have the findings unfounded?
These are the questions that I would like to have answers to.


  1. Hi:

    I see you are in the same boat I am. You haven't posted for awhile. Has your situation improved? More stories like yours should be told.

    Mike Murphy

  2. No my situtaion has not improved.
    I will be adding to the blog some more as well.

  3. You guys are not alone. As time goes by the hurt is still there, the alienation continues, but, as with grief, the pain dulls with time. The need to create a life for yourself outside of PAS is very important for yourself as for your children. Take care, Deb H