Monday, January 02, 2012

Burnt Toast

I knew I had not posted in some time, but did not realize how long it has been since I posted on this blog. Over the year I have been reestablishing a relationship with my son and reflecting upon myself and thoughts. Sorry for the lapse in publishing. To be beneficial to my followers and to others, I needed this time.

What does burnt toast have to do with parental alienation? Well burnt toast does not, but hopefully the analogy will cause one to reflect. I found this quote and realized it makes sense.
"If you get upset when the toast burns, what are you going to do when your house burns down?"

My ex, did everything in his power to anger me and he was successful many times. This in turn started feelings of anger towards my son, due to his reactions of what his dad was doing. My son was reacting the way his dad wanted and my response gave them validation to continue their campaign of degradation. When I was able to put into perspective of what was important to me, I was finally able to work on reestablishing a relationship.

So back to the burnt toast. I hate it when I am craving some toast and jam and I go through the steps to prepare this and fail to pay attention and burn my toast. So I throw away the burnt toast and start over. If I am set on the perfect piece of toast and do not achieve that, I may end up going through a whole loaf of bread. The same applies to achieving a successful outcome to parental alienation.

It won't be perfect. But why waste your time and anger over trying to achieve the perfect piece of toast? Before you know it, you could go through your whole loaf of bread seeking perfection and in the meantime burn down your house losing all the precious memories.

Getting your children back, takes alot of patience and tolerance. Things have changed and it will never be the same. Having your children return means that you can start new and build a new relationship, while allowing them to remember the good times in the past in their own time.

Wishing everyone a Happy New Year and strength to endure the tribulations of parental alienation.


  1. Congratulations on re-establishing a relationship with your son. If you get a second, check out our latest blog entry at We posted a story about a father and son overcoming 19 years of parental alienation.

    Good luck and happy new year.


    mike jeffries

  2. we have not had contact with my husbands 2 daughters for a year now - and still going through court battles - next court date 20th Jan - the burnt toast was interesting reading will show hubby tonight when he gets home - BUT nz needs a voice to get the family courts to take notice of the parential alienation...I know hubby misses his girls so much, yet there is nothing we can do about it!