Hello!
I know it has been some time since I have posted. I have been stressed in many areas of my life. Work, extended family and the end of legal battle for my son, has taken a toil on me. I have been trying to decide which avenue I take next. Do I continue this blog anonymously, or do I start posting some of my story? My intention is not to discredit the father of our son, but to post some of the court documents that show or perhaps prove that the family court of law is messed up. Of course, if I choose to post documents, the father of our son will not appear as a man of honor, or the man that our son thought he was. This could also cause the family courts to be exposed as well.
I think this is what every target parent faces. Do we tell the truth and appear like we are trying to make our children hate the other parent, or do we suffer in silence? The current laws will never be upheld or changed if we do not tell our story. If we tell our story, we can be looked upon as another alienating parent. For the record, the counselor has stated for me to let it go and to let our son figure it out. My point: impeach the credibility.
What do you think?
Monday, May 25, 2009
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Dear AM,
ReplyDeleteI have a few thoughts, but the decision is only yours.
The trouble with the recommendation not to go public is that it often seems to protect the guilty as much as the innocent. It is a major risk to go public, and can backfire nastily - the media have only one goal, to attract the eye of their public, and they will not care, ultimately, what happens to you and your son. I would say that your gender is a probable advantage (only fools and ideologues would claim otherwise). It would expose your son to uncomfortable pressures and may polarize him all the more. The judge won't like it - he or she likes to do their work without too much scrutiny because sometimes/often it is inevitably nasty. Once you have identified yourself, you cannot turn back.
I might suggest that you read Catherine Meyer's "They are my children too". Her children were abducted and the German courts failed to abide by the Hague Convention. She married the UK ambassador to the US, wrote a book about her experiences and uses her public profile to advocate for missing and abducted children in the UK. Ultimately, I think she has ended up somewhat frustrated, but she represents some of the best of what might be achieved by going public.
Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.
JD
Since 2001 I can't even remember how many times I've asked Rinda's Dad "WHAT ARE WE GOING TO TELL HER SOMEDAY WHEN RINDA FINALLY ASKS US WHY WE DIDN'T TELL HER THE TRUTH WAY BACK THEN".....the only answer I can come up with is that "WE LOVED HER TOO MUCH TO TELL HER THE UGLY TRUTH, THAT SHE WAS TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND AND THAT WE HOPED TO BE ABLE TO RESOLVE THE CONFLICT SO THAT SHE WOULD NEVER KNOW THAT SHE WAS USED AS A WEAPON AGAINST US"
ReplyDeleteWelcome Back,Alienated Mom....been missing your blog posts !