Tuesday, September 08, 2009

What does love have to do with it?

Today while researching some quotes I came across one that everyone has seen or read before. I read it and thought how profound it is.

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with"

How does this relate to target parents and alienated children? As target parents we have to find the time to let go. As alienated children, they may feel they have been set free. What if they never return to us? What if they do?

I truly believe that the children that have been alienated against the target parent will someday return. Target parents have to keep the hope, faith and belief that they will. They must also maintain or attempt to maintain contact as well.

If you are a target parent, keep hoping, praying, believing and doing everything you can, even though you feel it will get you nowhere. Send cards, keep a copy for your records. Take notes and make a journal of your contact, Write your thoughts down. I do believe that one day, your child or children will read it and realize.

Never give up hope!

Parental alienation is abuse! Stop the abuse!


  1. This post really hit home for me. Letting go is not something I'm able to do yet. With 3,050 days since Rinda has been home with us and now 8 months and 11 days until her 18th birthday, the time is coming. In Dr.Richard Warshak's book "Divorce Poison",he has a chapter called "Letting Go", which I will have to actually read within the coming months. I skipped reading that chapter when I read the book. The one thing I've heard over and over is that "If you had a good relationship prior to the P.A., that eventually they will come back to us. We are still waiting, hoping and praying, as I know you are. Wishing you peace !

  2. Letting go is not easy at all. That chapter in Dr. Warshak's book is difficult to read. I am getting teary eyed even now thinking about that chapter. I still do not think I have ever read that complete chapter. Letting go is something that is very difficult to do. I think I was trying to state something different in words, but not in theory.
    You never let go of hope or never let go that your child will someday return. But what you have to do is to grow and realize that the child you "let go" is not the child that will return. Your child may return as the adult that you hoped they would be and you have to be happy with that. You have to let go that you will never regain those lost years.

    I wish you the best and I will be praying for you. I think that having faith in something higher than we are is important as well.

  3. If you look at my blog...I posted a video of an interview by Dr. Amy Baker...Please! Look at it...