Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Parental alienation is emotional abuse and child abuse!

Today I am rather irritated with things. I have many thoughts and ideas racing through my mind about parental alienation as well. So if I sound terse, keep this in mind., although my writings today may be long.

I have been asked, told and heard statements such as: When are you going to let this go? I would have given up a long time ago, When are you going to stop and think about what this is doing to you?, Is it worth it?, Why don't you cut your losses?, Don't all kids go through a stage where they don't like a parent?, They eventually will come around give it time., It is just a phase things will work out.

BULL CRAP I say. I am sick of hearing these so called excuses, reasoning. or justifications. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!!!!! Parental alienation is abuse.

Those are easier said than done for a parent who has no clue what parental alienation is and does to everyone involved. If you were having terrible chest pains and thought you were having a heart attack, would you sit back and wait it out? If you were bleeding profusely would you wait until it stopped? Of course not, you would seek help to fix those problems. Unfortunately when there is parental alienation happening, the only one attempting to find help to fix the problem is the target parent. The courts and Judges do not recognize let alone understand parental alienation and parental alienation isn't even mentioned in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). Talk about fighting an uphill battle!

So I state that parental alienation is child abuse. It is emotional abuse. But why take my word or the words of thousands of other parents that are experiencing or have experienced this? So today is let me help educate and hope that one day this terrible tragedy will be recognized. So I googled several search terms and came up with this one where my inquiry was "CPS definition's of emotional abuse."

Child Protective Services (CPS) is the name of a governmental agency in many states of the United States that responds to reports of child abuse or neglect. Some states use other names, often attempting to reflect more family-centered (as opposed to child-centered) practices, such as "Department of Children & Family Services" (DCFS). CPS is also known by the name of "Department of Social Services" (DSS) or simply "Social Services."

Definitions: Each state must also have statutes that provide more detailed definitions of what child maltreatment means, for instance, defining terms such as:
abuse, which might include:
physical abuse
sexual abuse
emotional abuse (not recognized by all states)
Hmmm This is interesting!

The above from :

So I searched some more about emotional abuse and found this website:

This is what I found interesting;

What is Emotional Abuse?
Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, intimidation, guilt, coercion, manipulation etc. Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as repeated disapproval or even the refusal to ever be pleased.
Emotional abuse is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim's self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of "guidance," "teaching", or "advice," the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient of the abuse loses all sense of self and remnants of personal value. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting that physical ones. In fact there is research to this effect. With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism and accusations slowly eat away at the victim's self-esteem until she is incapable of judging the situation realistically. She has become so beaten down emotionally that she blames herself for the abuse. Her self-esteem is so low that she clings to the abuser.
Emotional abuse victims can become so convinced that they are worthless that they believe that no one else could want them. They stay in abusive situations because they believe they have nowhere else to go. Their ultimate fear is being all alone.

This is what alienating parents do, they control by brainwashing, fear, intimidation and any other methods they find that "works". Why? Well I have my own theories on that one, but would have to say for the thousands of parents out there that are experiencing this, alienating the affection of a child is the ultimate revenge. The thought they can say, see I won. They did not win, no one did, but there is a child that has lost a lot.

I will say this again and again, until parental alienation is recognized as child abuse. Parental alienation is child abuse, stop the abuse.


  1. I agree with everything in this article, I too am going through a battle that is very frustrating, so frustrating that I could write a book about it, and it is very disturbing to know that no one has done anything about it!

  2. So hard to prove. Could often only be done so with a recording but a recording someone without their consent apparently cannot be lawfully used. So as if they are going to carry on with usual verbal abuse once you ask for permission to record them! And so it remains your word against theirs in the face of others they bluff with the more charming side of themselves.