Christmas is to be a special time, filled with good will for others and small miracles. Could David Goldman have gotten a miracle this Christmas? I sure hope so!
If you have not read the story about David Goldman, he is the New Jersey father who has been fighting an international custody issue for the last five years. His son, Sean, is now 9 years old. In June of 2004, Mr. Goldman drove his son, his wife and his wife's parents to the airport for a planned two week vacation to Mrs. Goldman's native Brazil. When she arrived in Brazil, Mr. Goldman states that she called saying the marriage was over and if he ever wanted contact with his son again, he had to sign over custody to her.
If that does not sound very calculated, manipulative and a case of extortion, I don't know what does. These are the very same methods that alienating parents use to gain control.
Mr. Goldman's wife, then gained a divorce in the courts of Brazil and remarried. She later passed away while giving birth in 2008. Mr. Goldman states that he was not notified by his ex in-laws or by her new husband, but happened upon this information by friends that were helping him gain custody back of his son. This is a tragic loss for Sean. He lost his mother, and perhaps thinking that he will return to his father, his extended family in Brazil is now participating in further alienating him from his father.
Mr. Goldman has been fighting to regain custody of his son and has been blocked by many underhanded maneuvers. On Decemeber 21st, 2009, he received word that Brazil's top judge ruled in Mr. Goldman's favor and ordered that his son be returned to him.
Let us all hope and pray that Mr. Goldman has received his Christmas Miracle and that he and his son are reunited.
You can find the news story on MSNBC.COM and other news sites. Mr. Goldman has a website and you can read what he has written here.
Parental Alienation is Abuse! Stop the abuse!
Showing posts with label resources for parental alienation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label resources for parental alienation. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Saturday, December 05, 2009
Never give up!
I came upon this poem about perseverance and I think that every target should read this and think about it:
When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but do not quit.
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit."
As a target parent and from talking with other target parents, I understand the feeling of wanting to quit. You want to throw your hands up, wave the white surrender flag, snap your fingers and have the time turn back to when things were normal with your children. You are tired, exhausted emotionally, strained physically and financially ruined. You have spent so much time, energy and money and you are no closer to your children. You may think that waiting until they are older and they have some maturity that perhaps they will seek you out. This can and does happen sometimes, but are you willing to gamble with this idea?
I understand that it is difficult to continue to extend the hand of communication and contact when all you get in return is hatred. Everyone wants some positive reinforcement for their efforts. I understand the thought of "why bother". Your children are depending upon you to be there and I understand that they may not be demonstrating that. In fact they are resisting your efforts and doing everything they can to push you away. I do believe that deep down, they do not want you to push away.
I suggest that if you have not read this book, that you read it. I think you will gain a new perspective and hope on your situation. You can click the link and it will take you to Amazon.com where you can purchase this book.
Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind (Norton Professional Book)
Never give up! I would like to share some quotes with you and I hope that they make a difference.
Parental Alienation is Abuse! Stop the abuse!
When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but do not quit.
Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit-
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit."
As a target parent and from talking with other target parents, I understand the feeling of wanting to quit. You want to throw your hands up, wave the white surrender flag, snap your fingers and have the time turn back to when things were normal with your children. You are tired, exhausted emotionally, strained physically and financially ruined. You have spent so much time, energy and money and you are no closer to your children. You may think that waiting until they are older and they have some maturity that perhaps they will seek you out. This can and does happen sometimes, but are you willing to gamble with this idea?
I understand that it is difficult to continue to extend the hand of communication and contact when all you get in return is hatred. Everyone wants some positive reinforcement for their efforts. I understand the thought of "why bother". Your children are depending upon you to be there and I understand that they may not be demonstrating that. In fact they are resisting your efforts and doing everything they can to push you away. I do believe that deep down, they do not want you to push away.
I suggest that if you have not read this book, that you read it. I think you will gain a new perspective and hope on your situation. You can click the link and it will take you to Amazon.com where you can purchase this book.
Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind (Norton Professional Book)
Never give up! I would like to share some quotes with you and I hope that they make a difference.
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all."
"It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up."
"Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity. "
"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on."
"Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about."
Parental Alienation is Abuse! Stop the abuse!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
The Carnival
Today, I am trying something different. I hope to give some hope to target parents as well. My title, " The Carnival" must seem a bit odd, but bear with me. The reason I am writing this is because I heard something the other day and an analogy was made. After I thought about it, it made a lot of sense.
Do you remember when you were little and your parents took you to the county fair, the carnival or something similar to this? If you had never been before, you were not sure what the excitement was. If you had been before, you were excited that you could go again. Once a year, you piled into the car, made the trip to the carnival and experienced the magic that it had for you. As young children, the only care was the exciting rides and the possibility to win some gifts at the games. The lights at night were memorizing and the smells of the different foods that you were not allowed to eat were more than alluring. Perhaps, your parents "allowed" you to ride what they considered the safe rides..Maybe they gave you a small amount of money or you saved up some to spend on the games. I think most parents told their children that these games were rigged and you were wasting your time and money on them. Perhaps they allowed you to learn your lesson as well. You spent your money on the games and now have nothing left to buy a fresh squeezed lemonade.
But the allure of the games was there. The people running them are calling out to you, enticing you with the big gift. You see others walking around with large gifts. You tell your parents that you can win, it is real, see the prizes and more. Maybe you play and win, maybe not. But the illusion that they are real and easy is there. You cannot escape this. You have been sucked into the illusion of something that is not real.
Fast forward from your childhood to now you are the parent taking your children to the carnival. You realize the excitement, the allure and you also realize that these games just take your money. Oh the promise is there and the illusion is such, but how do you make your children understand this?
Welcome to adulthood! So many years ago, you were that child with the big eyes, the excitement and the belief that this was real. But you have spent that money trying to win that prize and walked away with nothing more than a try again buddy! You left the carnival after spending your money on foods that were bad for you, rides that upset your stomach and games that did not deliver the promise, but you still had fun. Thankfully the carnivals only come once a year.
Children that are being programmed against a parent is like going to the carnival. They are promised all the hype and told all the lies, but it does not deliver.There is promise and there is fun as well. Some of these children realize the lies when they reach an age. Some don't and hold onto the belief that the big prize exists.
Alienated children are told that the other parent is bad, they lie, they abuse and more. Children can be manipulated into believing this. The children may even provide stories themselves to substantiate the lies being told by the alienating parent. Like the carnival, they are mislead into believing something that is far from the truth.
Some of these children will mature and realize that what appeared as truth is an illusion. Some may not and old onto that belief that the other parent is bad because they are told so. There is fun, there is promises and there is prizes for accepting this. But one day they will realize.
I do not know if and when this will happen, but as a targeted parent, you MUST keep contact, tell your children that you love them and be the parent that is there for them. Promise them nothing other than unconditional love. Parents that alienate have conditions on their love---- Target parents do not.
Do you remember when you were little and your parents took you to the county fair, the carnival or something similar to this? If you had never been before, you were not sure what the excitement was. If you had been before, you were excited that you could go again. Once a year, you piled into the car, made the trip to the carnival and experienced the magic that it had for you. As young children, the only care was the exciting rides and the possibility to win some gifts at the games. The lights at night were memorizing and the smells of the different foods that you were not allowed to eat were more than alluring. Perhaps, your parents "allowed" you to ride what they considered the safe rides..Maybe they gave you a small amount of money or you saved up some to spend on the games. I think most parents told their children that these games were rigged and you were wasting your time and money on them. Perhaps they allowed you to learn your lesson as well. You spent your money on the games and now have nothing left to buy a fresh squeezed lemonade.
But the allure of the games was there. The people running them are calling out to you, enticing you with the big gift. You see others walking around with large gifts. You tell your parents that you can win, it is real, see the prizes and more. Maybe you play and win, maybe not. But the illusion that they are real and easy is there. You cannot escape this. You have been sucked into the illusion of something that is not real.
Fast forward from your childhood to now you are the parent taking your children to the carnival. You realize the excitement, the allure and you also realize that these games just take your money. Oh the promise is there and the illusion is such, but how do you make your children understand this?
Welcome to adulthood! So many years ago, you were that child with the big eyes, the excitement and the belief that this was real. But you have spent that money trying to win that prize and walked away with nothing more than a try again buddy! You left the carnival after spending your money on foods that were bad for you, rides that upset your stomach and games that did not deliver the promise, but you still had fun. Thankfully the carnivals only come once a year.
Children that are being programmed against a parent is like going to the carnival. They are promised all the hype and told all the lies, but it does not deliver.There is promise and there is fun as well. Some of these children realize the lies when they reach an age. Some don't and hold onto the belief that the big prize exists.
Alienated children are told that the other parent is bad, they lie, they abuse and more. Children can be manipulated into believing this. The children may even provide stories themselves to substantiate the lies being told by the alienating parent. Like the carnival, they are mislead into believing something that is far from the truth.
Some of these children will mature and realize that what appeared as truth is an illusion. Some may not and old onto that belief that the other parent is bad because they are told so. There is fun, there is promises and there is prizes for accepting this. But one day they will realize.
I do not know if and when this will happen, but as a targeted parent, you MUST keep contact, tell your children that you love them and be the parent that is there for them. Promise them nothing other than unconditional love. Parents that alienate have conditions on their love---- Target parents do not.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Suggested reading for target parents
If you are a parent experiencing parental alienation, you most likely are searching every resource you can for information. You may be wanting to know how to stop or prevent this from happening, if things will ever return to normal with your relationship with your children and what to do to facilitate this as well.
Dr. Amy Baker has written a book titled Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind (Norton Professional Book). Dr. Baker has a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology from Teachers College of Columbia University. She is the author or co-author of 3 books and over 45 peer reviewed articles. Her areas of research include parental alienation, child welfare, parent involvement in their children's education, early intervention, and attachment. She is the Director of Research at the Vincent J. Fontana Center for Child Protection.
This book interviews 40 adults who were alienated from a parent as a child. Many of the stories sound the same; a controlling parent who sets out on a mission to destroy the relationship between the child and other parent. As I read the stories, I found a common theme. The target parent who did not give up, would sometimes eventually have a relationship with the child they lost. The book is well written and offers advice for target parents as well.
If you have not read this book, I would suggest that this book is a must read. You will gain insight and understanding in a way you thought was not possible.
Parental Alienation is abuse! Stop the abuse!
Dr. Amy Baker has written a book titled Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind (Norton Professional Book)
. Dr. Baker has a Ph.D. in Developmental Psychology from Teachers College of Columbia University. She is the author or co-author of 3 books and over 45 peer reviewed articles. Her areas of research include parental alienation, child welfare, parent involvement in their children's education, early intervention, and attachment. She is the Director of Research at the Vincent J. Fontana Center for Child Protection. This book interviews 40 adults who were alienated from a parent as a child. Many of the stories sound the same; a controlling parent who sets out on a mission to destroy the relationship between the child and other parent. As I read the stories, I found a common theme. The target parent who did not give up, would sometimes eventually have a relationship with the child they lost. The book is well written and offers advice for target parents as well.
If you have not read this book, I would suggest that this book is a must read. You will gain insight and understanding in a way you thought was not possible.
Parental Alienation is abuse! Stop the abuse!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Resource for parental alienation
I received a comment on January 17th for a post I made that deserves an entry today. It was from The Lee P.A.S. Foundation . The comment left was "Dr Lowenstein, who has Written Parental Alienation, will be on my talkshoe on Sunday Feb 8 2009 5pm EST www,talkshoe.com or call in at 724-444-7444 ID 26868 " If you go to the page for The Lee P.A.S. Foundation, you will read that "Our Foundation is dedicated to publishing and educating the General Public, as well as our Court Systems, Mediators, Evaluators, CPS workers about Parental Alienation Syndrome".
You should be able to find on the right hand sidebar of my blog a widget for the talkshoe calls as well.
If you are a parent that is experiencing parental alienation, know a parent who is or suspect parental alienation, then education is the key to stopping this. Please make use of the resources available.
Parental alienation is abuse! Stop the abuse!
You should be able to find on the right hand sidebar of my blog a widget for the talkshoe calls as well.
If you are a parent that is experiencing parental alienation, know a parent who is or suspect parental alienation, then education is the key to stopping this. Please make use of the resources available.
Parental alienation is abuse! Stop the abuse!
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