Tuesday, October 21, 2008

False allegations during divorce and custody

I have several theories or thoughts about what happens when one parent decides that they will stop at nothing to win their case. These, of course, are my own thoughts and hypotheses about this and I find that I seek some form of validation to support them.

I came across an article the other day that I thought was interesting.

"False Allegations Of Abuse In Divorce By Reverend Dennis Austin
There has been a dramatic increase in the number of divorces over the last thirty years. Experts estimate that at least half of all marriages will end in divorce. Divorce has an effect on everyone involved, especially children if there are children in the relationship. Many times divorces become very hostile, which results in long courtroom battles.

In recent years, there has been an upward trend to fathers seeking custody rights to the children. Often times parenting plans can be set up with mediation between the two parents but in most cases, the court becomes involved. During custody battles, there is a growing trend of one parent alleging abuse by the other parent. Before 1973, Child abuse was rarely reported to authorities and often times it was covered up. In 1963, reports of suspected child abuse was 160,000 but between 1976 and 1993, the total yearly number of child abuse reports grew from 669,000 to over 2.9 million after the child abuse protection legislation that Senator Mondale sponsored. The passing of this legislation has also resulted in the increase of allegations of child abuse in divorce battles.

In 1975, thirty five percent of all child abuse reports were unsubstantiated, but by 1993, that percentage sky-rocketed to sixty six percent. In divorce, when allegations are made and the police conduct investigations, ninety seven percent of these claims are unable to be substantiated. It is obvious that many allegations of abuse which are reported in divorce situations are false and ninety five percent of those accusers are women. With the high amount of divorces, the percentage of those divorces which abuse is reported, and the percentage of which are unsubstantiated, it shows that children are being used as pawns to hurt or destroy the other parent. These false allegations of abuse, even if proven to be false, can ruin someone's life and have a devastating effect on the children. "

The author goes on to talk about parental alienation as well.

I find it odd that the number of child abuse allegations has risen dramatically and that many of these allegations are unsubstantiated as well. I would say that this increase is proportionate to the number of divorces that occur when there are children caught in a high conflict custody fight between two parents.

Why can the average person deduce this and the courts, children's services and the police not realize that these tactics are a ploy and a scam? Why are the people making such allegations not charged with a crime?

If anyone researches the term parental alienation, they will find that the common theme is the alienating parent will make allegations of abuse to the child by the other parent, drug and or alcohol abuse and mental illness by the other parent. The goal of the alienating parent is to remove or erase a loving parent from their child's life.

Parents that have the best interest of the child at heart are able to put aside their personal hurt of the divorce and realize that children need to be loved and to feel loved by both parents. It takes an unconscionable person who calls themselves a parent to ruin a child's life. No loving parent that places their child's well-being above their own would think to destroy a child.

Parental alienation is abuse. Stop the abuse.


  1. Help me please. I'm in the process of ending a 25 year marriage. I have a 17 year old and 19 year old child. My STBXH started the alienation process about a year before I filed. I'm told because of their ages, they can choose where they want to be. I'm heartbroken neither of my children speak to me and I was a stay at home mom with both of them and have loved them dearly. I want to divorce my husband, not my children. I'm told theres nothing I can do because of their ages. Cant believe this is happening

  2. Hello and thank you for posting. I can certainly sympathize with your situation. I understand your pain and heartbreak as well. Please email me by going to the about me section and "view my complete profile" (there is an email link) and perhaps I can help you or if nothing else be of support to you during this time.

    You are stonger than you think and you will find the strength needed to deal with this.

    I will keep you in my prayers. Keep faith!

    God Bless and I will be thinking and praying for you.