Wednesday, October 22, 2008

My experience with Parental alienation

How can I write a blog about parental alienation without saying anything about my experience with it? I am pretty private, but my main concern is to protect my son. This is why I have not said anything concerning my case for the most part.

I would have said that my first experience with parental alienation began over 3 years ago, but I now would have to say that my first experiences happened many years ago. Hindsight is 20/20 they say and I believe this to be true. As I can step back and attempt to analyze many experiences, I must say that I have missed many red flags. Some red flags I picked up on, but some I was not sure if they meant anything. The last thing I wanted to do was to jump to conclusions with nothing to base them on except a gut feeling.

I can tell you a date and time, but I won't right now, when I first thought I experienced parental alienation. I had a weekend visitation with my son during his father's summer parenting time. That Saturday evening, my son came and kissed me, hugged me and said he loved me prior to going to bed that evening. This was normal behavior as we always had a close relationship. This would also be the last time that I would hear my son say that he loved me. My ex and I had a transfer location that seemed to work for both of us. That weekend the transfer would be different if I did not mind. I did not mind, but I did need information as to the new location. Somehow I think this was misread as I objected and an alternative solution was suggested. The alternative solution seemed alright with me as long as I was not causing anyone to have to change plans dramatically where my ex was concerned. I was assured that this would work out better. I would realize later that hindsight is 20/20.

What followed after the transfer of my son back to his father's home that summer would hit me like a ton of bricks. Like a car racing down a dark and winding road, I would be broadsided without warning. The impact would be forceful and devastating. You would instinctively throw your arm out to protect your child. You child would be in the back seat with their seat belt on and protected from the crash. The sound would be deafening and the slow motion of the crash would forever play over in your mind as a silent movie. Your child although protected from the impact of the other car would be affected. The aftermath of the crash would take years to reconstruct the details and without a witness be difficult to prove. Welcome to parental alienation.

I can only compare what target parents experience as an analogy to what one could understand as impossible. The target parent is in a boat that is taking on water, they are without oars and about to go over a waterfall, be it Niagara Falls as one of the most powerful waterfalls in the world with about six million cubic meters of water flowing per minute, Angel falls as the world’s highest waterfalls and it falls from a height of 979 meters in Venezuela or Victoria Falls that is considered to be the largest waterfalls in the world. You cannot fight the power. You know your fate and all you can do is pray and fight the power against you. Or you can accept your fate and fade away. I chose to fight to have more time with my son and I chose to fight parental alienation. Little did I know that it is a fight that a target parent can not win.

Parental Alienation is abuse. Stop the abuse.

1 comment:

  1. I've known you for some time but I have to say this blog really explains how you are feeling. Your analogies are very "visual". I now have a greater understanding of how you must be feeling. Wish I could help. :-(