Friday, November 14, 2008

Parental Alienation

I constantly look for articles about parental alienation. For one, it helps me understand that this DOES exist, even though the courts seem to do nothing about it. Today I came across an article and will include a portion of it.

"In summary, does alienation of one parent by another parent happen? Absolutely! It
typically occurs in situations in which the emotional dysfunction is very high, a personality
disorder may be present, there is an escalating situation involving hatred and anger between
the parents, and the children are the ones who are negatively impacted to the greatest degree.
Despite all of the research that is now available demonstrating that children need access to
both their mother and their father, some parents conclude that a child does not need the other
parent. Is this abuse? In my opinion, yes! Is it an example of family violence? To some
extent, yes! Does the situation tend to be tolerated or ignored by the legal process until it
becomes very severe and almost impossible to reverse?
In my experience, that typically
happens all too often. It is becoming increasingly obvious to anyone who practices within the
area of family law that the direction we need to take is to reduce conflict, keep matters out of
the Court if at all possible, facilitate ongoing relationships between children and both of their
parents, and develop better ways of dispute resolution than by always ending up in front of a
Judge. If we are not successful in this quest, we are going to see increasing numbers of
children who are negatively impacted by an ongoing acrimonious relationship between their

Dr. Larry Waterman is a psychologist practicing in Nanaimo who has provided assessment reports to the Court for twenty-six years.

It seems that every article that I read, I see reference to some sort of personality disorder concerning the alienating parent. There also seems to be reference to a need for control by the alienating parent as well.

What really struck me in the above referenced article was where Dr. Waterman states " some parents conclude that a child does not need the other parent." My ex stated that our son "does not need his mother" to several people. These type of statements should immediately send off ringing bells, waving flags and flashing lights in the minds of anyone that hears these types of statements. This should be an immediate warning sign that something is amiss. When I objected to my ex's statement, he was eloquent in his response. His reasoning and manner of speaking was intentional and done in such a way, that I was portrayed as overprotective. I was overprotective of our son, but for reasons that I have not revealed yet. Those reasons were not to prevent contact or visitation with his father though. This is how obsessive alienating parents operate. Their method and behaviors are manipulative, cunning and deceitful. They will take a statement and turn it inside out and construe it into something completely different.

Target parents will tell you that grass is green and the sky is blue. Obsessive alienating parents will argue that grass is blue and the sky is green and will have you believing that is true. One cannot effectively give reasonable explanations to an obsessive alienating parent and expect to succeed in their discussion. Obsessive alienating parents are in a class all their own.

The sad part is that the children are the ones that are true victims in this. They have lost the parent that has the best interests at heart and have gained manipulation and lies as qualities to live by.

Parental Alienation is abuse! Stop the abuse!


  1. I love it that more and more people are seeing that alienation IS ABUSE and it does follow an abusive relationship!

    The women's groups that keep denying it's existence really need to wake up and realize that abuse survivors are losing children at alarming rates because they wont help us.. just to protect their foot in mouth syndrome from way back when Gardner noticed that WOMEN were alienating and being protected.

    We must get the word out there that abuse is abuse male and females both abuse ..

    Parent Alienation is abuse and either male or female can be the target.. the problem isn't a gender issue it's a personality issue period..

    Alienators are DANGEROUS and by the public fighting a gender war over who alienates and who abuses.. our children are living with the personality disordered adult .. and are suffering life long self esteem issues.

  2. [Does the situation tend to be tolerated or ignored by the legal process until it
    becomes very severe and almost impossible to reverse?]
    Not that I'm cynical or anything...but is the court system intentionally overlooking what is going on now, because of future profit? Let's face it...besides all of the money the attorneys are making right now, from desperate parents fighting just to get a glimpse of their children, much more money is to be had as a lot of young alienated children grow up with a need for counseling. Unfortunately, many other children will probably be in and out of the court system.
    So we have the pharms, psychologists, counselors, and entire court system full of people who want what's in the 'best interst of the child' just waiting for these 'profit children' to turn over.
    Again...It's not like I'm cynical or anything.