Saturday, November 01, 2008

1200 days and counting

Well today is past 1200 days since my son said "I love you" to me. It really does not matter if I made this entry yesterday, today, and tomorrow, next week or next month. The fact remains that I have not heard those words uttered from his mouth in relevance to his feelings towards me. It is heartbreaking to say the least. I also know that he is at an age that these so called words are difficult to articulate at times. It still does not take away the pain that he can easily articulate them to the alienating parent. One could ask if I was jealous of that. I want my son to love both of his parents.

One of the issues I would like to touch upon today is what a target parent is. A target parent is a parent that the other parent has decided that they will ruin, no matter the cost. With the attitude of "no matter the cost", they usually take prisoner of the child's or children's mind in a contested divorce that involves custody of the minor children. The child or children are forced to make a decision that no child should ever have to make. They have to decide whom they will side with. With that decision comes the so called love and adoration from the alienating parent and the desperation, frustration and helplessness of the target parent.

Please do not think that a target parent is some vulnerable and feeble minded person. Do not confuse their frustration with being insecure. Do not confuse their desperation with hopelessness. Do not confuse their anger with hostility. Do not confuse their aloofness with acceptance. Unless you are a target parent or know what a target parent experiences, you can not imagine how it feels to call your child and to have that call go unanswered. You can not imagine how it feels to leave message after message to not be returned or acknowledged. You can not imagine how it feels when you know you should be able to have phone contact and the message service comes on immediately, indicating the phone is turned off; when by court order it should be on, because this is YOUR court allotted time for a phone call. You can not imagine how it feels to find that your child's cell phone number has been disconnected for the third time because you found the new numbers. You can not imagine the desperation a target parent feels because they cannot have access to their child, their schooling, their school pictures or anything a parent would wish to participate in or have a memento of. You can not imagine the emotion the target parent feels when all they are trying to do is to be a parent and they are met with brick walls and road blocks by the alienating parent and the courts.

Fathers and Mothers have been persecuted by the courts for being loving parents by the malevolent actions from alienating parents. It is time that the courts and anyone else involved in the custody issues of minor child find the intestinal fortitude to ward off the evil manipulations by the alienating parent and all who support them.

With this I ask you, have you hugged your son or daughter today and let them know that you loved them? I would, but I cannot do that.

Become an advocate, educate yourself about parental alienation, fight the abuse and let others know that parental alienation is abuse.

Parental alienation is abuse! Fight the abuse!


  1. I can not imagine what you are going through but by reading your entries, I am getting a glimpse into what really is going on in your world. Thank you.

  2. I empathize with your situation!
    I CAN imagine what it's like to finally find another phone number...only to be hung up on
    (and of course, the number changed again)

    I CAN imagine what it's like to beg for someone to PLEASE tell you where your children are. That you only want to talk to them.

    I CAN imagine what it's like to finally track down a school, to PLEAD with those in charge of your childrens lives ... yet instead of talking with someone who cares about them, you find that very person looking at you with cold eyes, concerned more about covering their own tracks for the mistakes they have made in the situation.

    I CAN imagine the missed Birthdays, Holidays, and...since it's been so long for me, a missed graduation (I think/guess/am not sure)

    What I can no longer imagine is what it is I will say, when I finally have the chance to see my sons again.

    ~prayers 4 You~